Yesterday, Hubby and I found the perfect shelf to finish off my altar space. This leave a place for tools to remain easily accessible, versus in a drawer behind the space where I keep loose herbs and extra candles.
With Odin, Eir, and Heimdall moving to their new places, only Loki, Ullr, and Tyr remained. Tyr wanted to be close to the dogs, but didn’t specify where. The dogs are wherever we are, typically. But I needed Loki to stay with Tyr to keep him in check. Ullr wanted his own space too, but he wasn’t coming in clearly. Everything was muddled and fuddled.
Things were better since the beautiful ritual R shared at CotE that morning. Healing and cathertic. Big changes are coming with kindergarten and I feel like I’m making everything balance on my shoulders. My work schedule releases earlier. We have two awesome grandma’s ready and waiting in the wings. Hubby has said, in a deer-in-headlights what if we (read: I) can’t do it all, that he is prepared to make time with work stuff too and that we (read: we) can do it all. Saying this aloud in a safe space, my need to do everything and not lose myself [again], with the purpose of cleansing right along with the rest of my community, many of whom shared their own personal growth works and commitments they need to uphold, lifted a nervous knot in my stomach that planted itself last Monday. By giving the knot words, I took away it’s power over myself because now I have a focus- to not lose myself. (hold that thought)
But still, muddled and fuddled.
Looking at the altar, I realized I was tiptoeing around Loki. I had an idea and got some supplies together. As Hubby saw me carefully wrapping Loki in cotton and placing him in a box, he joked and said if only we had a snake to hang above him. I giggled, but it was brilliant. I drew a snake on the box and the crazy energy I’ve been feeling the last few weeks disappated.
There’s too much retrograde right now to invite chaos. I don’t hate chaos in fact, I usually function in controlled chaos. But right now, I needed to bind that shit, at least for the moment.
With Loki dealt with, I brought Tyr downstairs and set him up with Eir. They both like their new place.
I put Ullr down in the living room and, as Hubby and I spent time together, Ullr came in loud and clear: he wants to live in Witchling’s room. Hubby chuckled at the appropriateness of the move.
This morning, after he awoke, I went into Witchling’s room and placed Ullr there.
Now, there are two. And the lovely tapestry I created. And the awesome shelf Hubby found and hung.
(Resume thought from above)
I’ve been riding the struggle bus for the three weeks that I said I would awake early to go through my morning routine, work or no work. And I didn’t pick up an evening routine because watching TV and trolling the internet just felt more rewarding in the moment. Perhaps it was too cluttered. Likely also my focus was too pessimistic to be motivated. Struggle bus never made it to the station this morning and I rode the 5:35 motivation bus instead. I walked the dogs, did my morning prayers to Frigg, and then Witchlette bounded into the room just in time to start yoga. She got her yoga mat and we had a great session this morning.