Solstice Wheel

I’m a week late for the first post, but on time for actually completing the work so yay!

Last week started the Annual Solstice Sun Wheel. We are again doing our Sun Wheel at our table during dinner time.

Last week, we started the wheel in the East with Air, and mostly used the words printed by Beth on her blog:

By this candlelight, we stand for the Light that is always Whole. We call to the most ancient Divine One(s) whose name is Love. With our hands and hearts joined, now at this threshold of change, we invoke the irrepressible dawning of healing, grace, and rebirth.

With unfailing devotion, with all our courage, from within and without, for the Earth, Her resources, and all Her beings, We are a Circle within a Circle, with no beginning and never ending. By Air, so mote it be.

This week, I spoke the same words, but this time ended with

By Air and by Earth, So Mote It Be.

Witchlette quickly followed with her own SMIB and Witchling fell in line after her. She then poked at Hubby who added one of his own. I appreciate his playing along, even though it’s not his jam. He is always ready to light the right candles at the right time and right place, but he’s never been big on speaking parts. Witchlette has made this her task.

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Unprepared

I didn’t look at my planner, where everything is marked out and scheduled for me.

I didn’t pay attention to all of the everything happening at once.

I didn’t realize this was starting until this morning, the next day.

Oh boy, did I feel this one.

Day one kicked my butt so very hard.

Here’s to knowing what’s up…because knowing it’s there helps me to not do the typical retrograde things…taking extra time for everything, and going one moment at a time.

Perhaps itโ€™s a complement?

I’ve got a troll.

My very own, perhaps? Though he has been known to also go after others so I guess a number of us share him.

Still, he was someone who years ago, I respected. Then something happened and his writing went off the deep end. Like, dark corners of the internet that one has to know where they are to find them off the deep end.

Since the beginning of September, I have written 13 posts. Not too shabby for a full time teacher and mother of two young, happy, active kiddos. He has taken personal offense at two of these posts, both political in context, and decided to shed some hate on my perspective.

A quick search to defining an internet troll leads to this list of five traits, of which he hits four.

I see you. I hear you. You sound hurt, and I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry that someone hurt you so deeply that you morphed in such a huge way. I’m sorry you feel such intense anger and pain. I hope you find peace.

Election reflection

๐ŸŒŠ๐ŸŒŠ๐ŸŒŠ

Some of the most famous documents of our country include these beautiful phrases. But what they say is not what they mean.

The Declaration of Independence, for instance.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all [white, land-owning (i.e. rich)] men are created equal

The Preamble of the US Constitution, as another

We the [white, male, land-owning (i.e. rich) Peopleย of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union

Amendments and decisions have been made which changes the interpretation of the words, bringing it more inclusive than it was originally written to be. Bringing the documents forward in time. Showing progress.

Yesterday, the country proved that we are continuing to chip away at things. That we are continuing to move in the right direction.

Not only is the future female, but it is darker and queerer. It encompasses multiple faiths. It is a reflection of the real America. Of my America. Of the nation I love. My nation is not rural white good ol’boys. They’re a part of it, but they’re not the whole store. My nation has some country and has some flavor. Lots of flavor.

But this is just the start. Congress has gone from 20% female to 22% female. The country is projected to go to minority white by 2045. My children will be well into their adulthood in a [hopefully] fully inclusive society. They have friends and classmates from all walks of life. They don’t bat an eye at friends having two dads or their beloved daycare director and her wife. They are being raised in a minority faith in a world of Christians.

Speaking of…

The GOP represents the rich, white, Christian male populous who is trying to hold onto what the country was originally founded as. But that’s not who we are anymore. We haven’t been, socially, that in a long time. It’s about time our government representatives started to catch up. They seem to be doing whatever they can to make folks feel as though their view doesn’t matter. My dear J, high school senior who didn’t vote because all the stuff on TV made him feel like it wouldn’t matter. His little voice doesn’t matter. Their disenfranchisement worked for him this time. I hope I broke through to him for next year. And the year after.

The tides are turning.

Each crashing wave is eroding away the old, jagged rock.

Keep putting drops in the bucket.

Keep the floods flowing.

๐ŸŒŠ๐ŸŒŠ๐ŸŒŠ

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the last day.

The last day to show up.

The last day to prevent any further set back.

The last day to stand up against hate.

The last day to do what’s right.

Many of us already committed this act.

Witchlette and I voted early before going trick or treating at Target two weeks ago.

I have my trepidation. Fears for fraud have been sown so deeply in some areas, that wins my not be seen as win and concessions may not happen.

We shall see.

The work is not over.

There is much rebuilding to be done.

My drop in the blue wave has been added.

Everything to everyone

Everyone pressures everyone else. I pressure all of those around me…Hubby, Little Witches, Mom, students, colleagues, friends… I want everyone to be the best them at all times because I selfishly want the best them for myself.

This is not meant out of callousness and is not done directly, outside of disciplining the Little ones who sometimes need redirection.

I feel the pressure from everyone too. Be the best Mother, Wife, Teacher, Friend, Witch…

I allowed this pressure to internalize, as I allow most everything to internalize. I’m an internalizer. Something around me goes wrong and I see myself as a failure. I allowed this pressure to continue to push myself. I found myself going in circles. Although, I guess it was more of cycles. I really enjoy something, so I am going to do it more often. Yet, that means I will be unable to do something else. There’s always a give and take.

I really like attending Full Moon rituals, book club meetings, trivia night as part of the 3 Hot Mamas…I also love snuggling with my kids while they laugh at cartoons, spending time sitting at the kitchen table with Hubby in the quiet night and just talking, coming home from a busy day at work to a clean house because the time was put towards that cleaning the night before.

I wanted to have it all. I figured out ways to have it all, but having it all was exhausting. So I found myself internalizing and just snuggling in. I have gone through this cycle about 4 times since Witchling was born. Having it all, until it all becomes too much work and just focusing on what’s best.

Some friends mention how long it’s been, and I enjoyed the event, so I feel this pressure to do more again. And so it goes until it doesn’t go anymore.

Last Monday, I had an unfiltered moment with my dearest S where I said I was going to be pulling back from some things not because I feel like I have to because I have overwhelmed myself again, but rather because I want to. Because Itโ€™s better this time because I donโ€™t feel like I am losing myself in the kids. I don’t feel like the kids are my only “thing”. They just have so much going on and I want to be there for all of it, and everything else gets put on the side. Because one day everything else will still be there, in one form or another, and they won’t. Heck, they’ve already grown so much.

There would be heartwarming moments that I would miss. Moments like tonight when Witchlette, who is battling a small cold, coughed. Witchling, without prompting or asking and in less than five seconds after her cough, stood up and got her his water cup. Because when you cough, drinking helps. And because he genuinely is concerned for her. Because he genuinely cares.

Moments like this are the little bits that I would be sacrificing. That I have been sacrificing. That I try to convince myself that it’s ok to do so.

And sometimes it is. Sometimes it’s necessary because responsibility calls away.

As the sun continues its journey and we dive further into the dark half of the year, I am getting my hygge on and reveling in my nights at home.

From the minds, hands, and mouths of babes

Last night, after about an hour of trick-or-treating, with an almost full the the brim, too heavy for him to carry bucket, Witchling was beginning to show his tiredness. It was 15 minutes after his usual bedtime but he wasn’t ready to give in yet. We approached the next house and he was asked by the neighbor, “How are you this evening?”

He shrugged and responded with the innocent honesty of a three year old, “I’m just here for the candy.”

The neighbor and I both laughed to hard. He got to take an extra piece from her bowl.

Witchlette, on Tuesday at school, made a trick-or-treat sack on a white paper bag. Apparently I was an inspiration for her.

My heart has melted twice quicker than MnMs in my mouth.