What they want, a rambling reprise

Yesterday, Hubby and I found the perfect shelf to finish off my altar space. This leave a place for tools to remain easily accessible, versus in a drawer behind the space where I keep loose herbs and extra candles.

With Odin, Eir, and Heimdall moving to their new places, only Loki, Ullr, and Tyr remained. Tyr wanted to be close to the dogs, but didn’t specify where. The dogs are wherever we are, typically. But I needed Loki to stay with Tyr to keep him in check. Ullr wanted his own space too, but he wasn’t coming in clearly. Everything was muddled and fuddled.

Things were better since the beautiful ritual R shared at CotE that morning. Healing and cathertic. Big changes are coming with kindergarten and I feel like I’m making everything balance on my shoulders. My work schedule releases earlier. We have two awesome grandma’s ready and waiting in the wings. Hubby has said, in a deer-in-headlights what if we (read: I) can’t do it all, that he is prepared to make time with work stuff too and that we (read: we) can do it all. Saying this aloud in a safe space, my need to do everything and not lose myself [again], with the purpose of cleansing right along with the rest of my community, many of whom shared their own personal growth works and commitments they need to uphold, lifted a nervous knot in my stomach that planted itself last Monday. By giving the knot words, I took away it’s power over myself because now I have a focus- to not lose myself. (hold that thought)

But still, muddled and fuddled.

Looking at the altar, I realized I was tiptoeing around Loki. I had an idea and got some supplies together. As Hubby saw me carefully wrapping Loki in cotton and placing him in a box, he joked and said if only we had a snake to hang above him. I giggled, but it was brilliant. I drew a snake on the box and the crazy energy I’ve been feeling the last few weeks disappated.

There’s too much retrograde right now to invite chaos. I don’t hate chaos in fact, I usually function in controlled chaos. But right now, I needed to bind that shit, at least for the moment.

With Loki dealt with, I brought Tyr downstairs and set him up with Eir. They both like their new place.

I put Ullr down in the living room and, as Hubby and I spent time together, Ullr came in loud and clear: he wants to live in Witchling’s room. Hubby chuckled at the appropriateness of the move.

This morning, after he awoke, I went into Witchling’s room and placed Ullr there.

Now, there are two. And the lovely tapestry I created. And the awesome shelf Hubby found and hung.

(Resume thought from above)

I’ve been riding the struggle bus for the three weeks that I said I would awake early to go through my morning routine, work or no work. And I didn’t pick up an evening routine because watching TV and trolling the internet just felt more rewarding in the moment. Perhaps it was too cluttered. Likely also my focus was too pessimistic to be motivated. Struggle bus never made it to the station this morning and I rode the 5:35 motivation bus instead. I walked the dogs, did my morning prayers to Frigg, and then Witchlette bounded into the room just in time to start yoga. She got her yoga mat and we had a great session this morning.

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What they want, they get

Confession time:

Our front room, second living space, dubbed “the library” because that was my childhood goal…

Our front room is the last room with boxes, and much of the boxes are stuff that needs to make it’s way to the crafting space upstairs, which is also a chaotic moving clusterfuck.

I lost my patience for getting to the library eventually and cleared the space out myself Friday.

Ahh…much better!

Ok, background for the next part…

A few times, I have put some of my alter totems into a cabinet as things were being cleaned, or as certain rituals were being conducted and during which the presence of other deities would have been distracting both visually and spiritually. There was a point when Tyr, Odin, Loki, and Heimdall were in the cabinet for two weeks. They were not happy. Odin was pissed. When I did the Full 13 moon, everyone but Frigg was cabinetted. Frigg has never been cabinetted.

Last week, two more pieces have arrived, in the form of Ullr and Eir.

(Some people collect mugs, I collect gods 🤷😊)

The altar is getting crowded. I have shelves which will [eventually] be hung and some of the totems will move there.

During meditation yesterday, Odin made it clear he does not want to be in my bedroom. He wants to live in the library.

Heimdall wants to be on the front table, by the door.

Eir wants to be able to see the kitchen. Respectfully, she doesn’t want to be in the kitchen, likely because that is already space dedicated to Frigg, but she wants to be close.

Tyr wants to be close to the dogs, and it feels weird moving him away from Loki. Like, he keeps Loki in check. Loki doesn’t want to be on my altar, but also hasn’t specified a space where he will land. I like him sandwiched between Thor and Tyr where he is presently.

Hubby has been on board with everything else so far, why not to having Gods move in around the house. He took to them having new homes around the house really well.

Gods, friends

Growing up with a Christian worldview with Catholic indoctrination, there was a lot of servitude expected.

If nothing else, at the end of mass, the command to “go forth and share the ‘good news'” aka proselytize, convert your friends and neighbors.

Yahweh is an overlord, and a jealous bastard. He needs all of the attention at all times from all people. And when he doesn’t get what he wants, he goes on a murderous rampage.

Odin is a warlord, no two ways about it. Much of what remains of Frigg has been cleansed, but as the favorite wife of a warlord, she knew how to get her hands bloody.

Yet, they never demanded subservient followers. Odin doesn’t demand that his folks kneel. In fact, he prefers his people to stand. Live with honor and act with hospitality, and you will gain the gods’ favor. One need not serve them, one needs to do right.

Thor, specifically, is known as the friend of man. Often a kenning for him is “Friend Thor.”

This is something I am still trying to work my mind around. Trying to undoctrinate myself. While I am not equal to the gods just as my dogs are not equal to me, we still can have a relationship of give and take. Of reciprocity. Of Gebo.

When you want to get in touch with a friend, you pick up the phone and call. One should not stare at the phone waiting for days for it to ring. It goes both ways. Either party can initiate the connection.

Either a human can reach out to the Aesir or the gods can tap you on the shoulder and inform you on whose team you play. (It’s not as frightening to be drafted as I initially imagined).

Meditation and prayer are just one way to reach across lines. Offerings are another. Friends invite each other into their homes and offer food and drink as a sign of hospitality and warmth.

Recently, we restarted leaving offerings to the gods, wights, good neighbors, and ancestors. A few days later, I asked Frigg specifically what she would like me to offer her. This is not, to me, dissimilar to asking an invited guest what they would care to drink. I through Runes and got an answer: Berkano next to Othala stacked on Gebo. For Frigg, your family is your offering. My devotion to her is to be the best mama I can, and to raise the next generation of Witches to be strong and steadfast. In whatever is coming the work that I need to do in my preparations is to continue to raise my strong little Witches. To hone in on what makes them Magickal and foster them to stand strong against the turn that is coming.

To continue to honor the gods with daily libations. To continue to give offerings to the ancestors with daily libations. To continue the strong spiritual guidance of my babies.

So mote it be.

 

Birds have it

In our neck of the woods, it’s rather common to see a red tail hawk. I see at least one a week. It’s not something I was used to growing up, but is going to be a piece of normalcy for my Little Witches.

This evening, while driving to dinner, I spotted three birds acting in a manner that seemed at least slightly unusual. As we got closed, I noted the red tail feathers and spotted underbelly of a red tail hawk and two big black crows.

The red tail hawk is one of the birds I associate with Frigg, and it was the feather of a red tail hawk that somehow someway ended up in my car one glorious afternoon. (It was too perfect to be a coincidence and I’ll never believe it wasn’t a sign from the Devine).

The two black birds, especially because there were exactly two of them, told me Odin was not far.

The birds looked like they were dancing. The two black birds were doing a figure eight around the hawk, who in turn was swooping up and down. Then, as they had my full attention at a red light, they came to a stop and perched on a tree next to the road. Just stopped, and sat peacefully.

The light turned green and off we went, but for that moment, it was a godly connection. Crown chakra tingles and all.

Declaration

It was less than a ago when Witchlette declared Skadi to be her goddess.

This morning, Witchling was going through the days of the week.

“Who’s day is today?” he asked.

“Sunna’s day.”

“When is Thor’s day?”

“Thursday.”

“When is Loki’s day?”

“Yesterday, Saturday.”

“What about Odin?”

“Wednesday.”

“When is Heimdall’s day?”

“Heimdall doesn’t have a day.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. He doesn’t.”

“Heimdall is my God!”

“He’s a good God to have”

I haven’t shared a formal declaration to the kids. That is something they can decide to do when they are older. Yet, I still think the gods of old are speaking through my little ones. They have found a willing audience.

Hail! Blessed be!

Blessed Imbolc and Charming of the Plow

Signs of spring have started to pop up around our yard. We have three bulbs that have begun to sprout in our front yard. Two are bulbs Witchlette and I planted at Imbolc last year, the third is one of the remaining daffodil bulbs around our oak tree.

This evening, at dinner, we conducted our first Charming of the Plow ritual.

I had an offering bowl at the table with a bulb and some seeds to bless, which will be planted in our new yard.

We blessed our meal, and I shared the following

Today, what many people call Imbolc, our Germanic ancestors Kew at Charming of the Plow.

Tonight, we honor Odin Allfather, cheif among the gods. We honor Freyr, who rides his golden boar across the sky for longer and longer time. Skal and cheers to Skadi and Ullr, whose time of rule is almost through. They will soon retreat back to Skadi’s mountainous winter fortress. For Thor, whose rains are to come and for Sif, whose grains are to grow. Tonight, we give special acknowledgement to Gefjon, who took four oxen, her son’s, yoked them to a plow, and carved a plot of land just for her kin. To Frigg Allmother, with an honor of milk, as the kids and calves are being born, milk is flowing, and wool.os being harvested and spun. Above all, this night, we honor Jord, Earth Mother. May you have fields growing and flourishing,
propagating and strengthening,
tall shafts, bright crops,
and red tomato crops,
and soft sage crops,
and all earth’s crops.
May Nerthus grant you
that your produce be guarded against any enemies,
and that it be kept safe from harm,
from poisons sown around the land.
Now I bid the Mother, who shaped this world,
that none shall overturn the words thus spoken.

Final words taken from The Pagan Grove.

Hail to Gefjon

Hail to Jord

Hail, Skal, and Blessed Be

An Exploration- Part 1: Frija

Over the past few weeks, I have begun calling Frigg at my altar by more than one name. I have begun calling to her, rather, by three. From all of the readings I have done and my own communication with her, I understand and practice with these three names are the same entity.

The first name I call into sacred space is Frija.

Calling Frigg Frija has also helped reconcile the Frigg-Freya discrepancy that I’ve been holding, for at one point in time, both Frigg and Freya energies were one within Frija.

While mowing the lawn in mid-September, I mused the idea that Frigg and Freya, as we know them, have switched much of their roles. The powerful leader of the valkyrjur, with war and carnage at the forefront, using harsh magic to ensure who they chose to die in battle indeed died, who weave the destiny of the warriors using intestines for thread, severed heads for weights, and spears for beaters in their gruesome loom. This focus on war and death is the focus of an Aesir god. Yet, Freya is listed as Vanir- fertility-centric earth goddess. This description does not reconcile with the description of Freya as she is known today. She is aligned across cultures with The Morrigan and Badb.

The image of Freya has since been “santized” to not only highlight the pleasant qualities of her and her Valkeries but also perhaps to focus on the inter-cultural exchange which the Germanic travelers were establishing with trade routes through to the Middle East. With this sanitation, the Lore shifted from the magical weaving choosers of the slain and instead focused on love affairs with human men and merely assisting Odin with getting his favorite slain to Valhalla.

Frigg, alternatively, is seen as a loving wife and mother who watches over all domestic affairs. She is a weaver- of the clouds and of the fates of humans. She is able to best Odin in wits at least twice- once in the introduction of Longbeards and once when her chosen brother- the kind brother- eventually rose to the throne.

Both goddesses wear cloaks of falcon plumes for disguise and transformation. Both goddesses partake in the act of seidr, as volvas, which was commonly done by the warband cheifton’s wife at the beginning of the Migration period. Both women take on this role as the veleda. At this point in time, there was likely one large clan, who, with migration, broke off into two or more clans. With the migration, differing customs were developed. It was at this point, I believe, Frija, original warrior/mother goddess, broke off into two forms: Frigg and Freya.

When the Migration Period led to the Viking Age, and the warbands became leaderless groups, Odin was no longer cheiften, but rather wonderer and poet. The need for the veleda was also no longer necessary, and so the role was reinterpreted and eventually evolved to what we now see as Frigg- the Vanir-esque Aesir weaver wife of Odin, the wanderer, and Freya- the Aesir-esque Vanir warrior wife of Odr, the wanderer. Yes, both are beyond those aspects, but everything beyond those aspects (love, beauty, childbirth), they continue to share.

I struggle to wrap my mind around the fractured, split goddesses. I am unable to see the angst in Frigg, who is the wife of the god of war (and poetry) because so much of her surviving lore has to do with the death of Baldr. I am unable to really connect with Freya because so much of her surviving lore gives me the feelings of lustful anger. 

I can wrap my mind around the two, back as one. Witchlette, wise beyond her years, continues to confuse the two in name and in likeness, also understands Frija better.  I can easily see Frija, devoted mother, dependable wife, skilled seeress, powerful warrior. I can reconcile the two seemingly flipped personas back in their original form.