The beauty of the body from a child’s perspective

I’ve shared before how I committed myself, come what may, that I was going to nurse my children for as long as possible, and ended up going 18 months for both of them.

Witchlette seems as though she remembers Witchling nursing, though I believe she only remembers the idea of it, because she was only 2 1/2 to 3 and I stopped about a year and a half ago.

Pause: how in the world did my two Littles get SO big in such a short amount of time!

So, Witchlette remembers, at least the idea. She knows that she has nipples and that nipples boobs make milk for feeding babies, and the milk comes from the nipple.

Witchling I am positive doesn’t actually remember nursing, but he has been exposed to the idea. He also knows boobs make milk and that milk comes from nipples.

He also knows that he has nipples, and therefore explains that he has boobs. When a ball hits his chest, he writhes in pain, sharing how much his boob hurts.

Today, while walking through Target holding his Iron Man lovie, Witchling very innocently lifted up his shirt and make slurping noises. I couldn’t have held in a giggle if I tried!

“Is Iron Man hungry?”

“He’s thirsty, so he’s having milk from my boob!”

It’s going to break his heart to know that his nipples don’t function that way, but it’s beyond sweet to see him love his lovies that way.

Boys of that age when I was little would be corrected. I mean, girls would have been corrected. That’s just not something that gets played. Those are private parts.

I’m so happy my kids are growing up in a shift. I’m so happy that my son loves his amazing body and everything it could do, plus more.

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And just like that…

…it’s over. 

One side once a day was not enough to keep up supply. Three consecutive mornings of attempts with no let down. I’m all dried out. No more nursing. 

I can’t say that I’m 100% happy about it, especially because he is still looking to nurse every morning. But I’m also not 100% disappointed because he is 14 months old, and he began rejecting the breast, at least at night, a few weeks ago. 

With Witchlette, it was different. While I always knew, with the doctors and the treatment, that she could be my only, there was always a chance of going it again. With Witchling, there is not. Family complete, nursing over. 

Two kids both nursed over a year is nothing to scoff at. It’s something I will always carry with pride. 

But Witchling still looks for his morning nursing, not for sustenance, but for comfort and bonding. And that’s the part that leaves my heart wanting more. 

But there are positives to being the end. 

9/26/14, first drink post-nursing Witchlette was also the last drink pre-Witchling. Hubby had Red Oak, I had Killian’s

After nursing, 11/19/16, I had pineapple cider, Hubby had Red Oak

There will, I believe, be some Mead in my near future. 

This is NOT a complaint

   
Pictured above are three bags of breastmilk, which I have to pump out to relieve pressure between feedings. We have since frozen the above pictured milk, with four more for a total of seven equally full bags. This happened over the span of three days. 

Pictured below is one side from Monday night- after four let-downs between 6-8:30. I got 2.5 oz from the other side. And that just took the edge off, I’m still ready to go when Witchling wakes up to eat again. 

 

There are presently 4.5 bags in the fridge again, but my body is starting to even out with his needs, so the overproduction period will likely be ending soon. 

Witchlette has taken a real interest in everything baby brother. When he cries, she stops what she’s doing to come rub his hand, tell him everythings alright, and sing to him. She’s especially fascinated with his eating. And she is very helpful with milk expression. She helps me by turning on my pump and gets heartbroken when she’s busy playing and I dare to express without her help. She commanded that her grandmother give her brother back to me so he could “drink his milk from Mommy’s boobs.” Shortly before this event, she stated that her “boob-nipples hurt because there’s too much milk inside” so she needs to pump. 

Children become what they are exposed to. Witchlette knows how to cast a Circle and she knows, in theory, how to nurse an infant and use a breast pump. Perhaps something of my natural mothering will leave an impression and remain with her. 

You can keep the burger…

I’m getting back on my high horse. 

I had laws saved to the home page of my phone with Witchlette, just in case someone dared to tell me when and where I could nurse my daughter. Just in case someone told me I was lewd or inappropriate. 

I was on a horse so holier than thou high, I got altitude sickness. (Never ever anything against formula/pumping/etc/whatever moms and kiddos, but rather against the little old ladies who gave me stank eye in Target!)

But I was able to nurse Witchlette for over a year. She decided when she wanted her cup instead. And I’m ok with that. 

I kept on preaching for all of my nursing sisters. 

Now I’m back to preach for myself. I’ve got my stirrups polished and my saddle oiled. My ladder is ready for me to climb back on that horse. 

Because really…which one seems to go together?

   
Wth does a burger have to do with a woman’s body?

Nada!

 Now that’s a beautiful sight. 

The hardest thing I’ve ever done…

There are two things that I’ve done that have been the best things I could have ever done: married Hubby and had Witchlette.

Being a wife is really rewarding and has some challenges too. Making Hubby happy makes me happy…not in the Beaver Cleaver way where my man comes home from work and I fetch his pipe and slippers and put a roast in front of him. No…while I do enjoy cooking for the family, I mean doing things together. Taking interest in his interests. Doing things that make him happy makes me happy. It’s reciprocal; and it works and it’s beautiful. I can’t imagine life without him.

Being a mother is even more challenging and even more rewarding. In this specific instance, I’m referring directly to nursing. I had promised myself and my not-yet-born baby that I would nurse her for the whole first year. I worked my ass off pumping while at work (with support from a great team of coworkers) and I made it through the first year of being a mom who works and Witchlette only had breast milk. When summer break hit, it was so much easier to nurse. It was lovely.

Then her first birthday hit and instantaneously, and she would only take the breast three times. It was a pretty good change, my body adjusted just fine.

In preparing to go back to work, Hubby and I decided it was time to begin weaning Witchlette. I pump at 5:30 and she gets 4 oz of breast milk plus 1 oz of cow’s milk. She takes the milk in her sippy cup. I stopped nursing/pumping in mid-day since I won’t be pumping when I go back to work, so we’re tapping into the massive freezer supply. 4 oz of frozen breast milk plus 1 oz of fresh cow’s milk. The more our supply dwindles, the more cow’s milk we will add mid-day.

Witchlette exclusively nurses just before bed.

So nursing my baby big girl has gone from every three hours to once a day.

And there have been a lot of waterworks along with it. And Hubby has been so supportive.

This is the best thing I’ve ever done. This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever done. And it has been the hardest- the nights when we were just starting and couldn’t latch right to now, when my baby big girl needs more independence to grow and thrive into the wonderful person she’s destined to be.

It’s a beautiful process. And it’s going to be wonderful to witness.

Beautifully wonderfully hard.

Divine Nursing

So i have been attempting to write this post for the last month…such is life with a newborn!

I am nursing my daughter. She has had nothing but her mother’s milk since day one. The folks at the hospital were great; they knew how I didn’t have the birth I was expecting. They finished stitching me up and got her clean and ready and I began breastfeeding in the recovery area before we were wheeled to my postpartum room. From the moment she first latched on, I knew I would like the experience.

Not every nursing session is great, and not all of them are easy. We are learning from each other and I am quickly picking up on her cues. I’ve known for a while now when she wants to eat before she cries and she typically doesn’t have a chance to cry for food.

After one especially agonizing night, I also learned that if she isn’t fully awake, she isn’t going to properly latch which leads to my breasts becoming extremely sore. I was getting overly frustrating so I got my husband up asked him to sit with us since he has a calming presence. After trying and trying for a good latch to start nursing for almost 35 minutes, I completely broke down and just cried with her laying across my lap. My husband took her, sent me back to bed and rocked her to sleep. He came back into our room and helped me work through what was going on, which I didn’t realize what it was until after her next nursing session.

In that session, I lifted her from her crib, sat in my chair, cradled her for a moment and grounded and centered. I felt my root chakra open, and I skipped ahead and opened my heart chakra. At the same time, my crown chakra opened. I heard a female voice, not my own and not one I had ever heard before, say to me “You know what to do.” I adjusted the way I was holding my breast, brought her forward, and nursed. I know not which Goddess spoke to me, but I am eternally grateful that she did.

And we haven’t had an issue since.