Meditations

I have been feeling as though I have been lost as of late.

This time last year, everything I did in some way incorperated the gods. Almost all of the media I took in, the fictional books I read…

Over the summer, I was feeling a bit burnt out for lack of a better word. Overwhelmed that everything was about them.

And now, the ultimate extremist, as Hubby would remind me, I have swung too far in the other direction and I miss having so much of the gods in my everyday life.

There are books to be borrowed from the library, and there are more digital mediums to be taken in.

Lately, however, I’ve also been as the point where I can only consume so much. I need to start outputting my own. I need to solidify my own head Cannon and that needs to come from within.

Which means I have to actually do something. …another issue my lazy bones has been having as of late. I seem to be running at 100 mph, as it was described by a colleague. I’m up before dawn, working to my fullest my whole time at work (no lunch break blogs as lunch is still crunch time) and then I’m off to get the littles and wear my Mama hat.

They go to bed, and I can be found on a couch, watching the tube.

No creation.

My sacral chakra needs a realignment.

Last night, while putting Witchlette to bed, on a “trip” meditation, I was inspired to bring her to one of her goddesses and she loved it.

This morning while walking the dogs and meditating after, I had a vision of what my most ancient ancestors may have seen when they looked to the sky.

These will hopefully kickstart something in me which will lead to more creation. And less tv watching stagnation.

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Coming off the break

Summer vacation as a teacher means sleeping in. It means a break from the hustle and bustle of setting lessons and grading papers.

For me, most of all, it means enjoying my children full time all day long.

Except when it doesn’t.

Beginning the first day of summer vacation, I said goodbye to my sunrise alarm. I no longer woke up early enough to walk the dogs and do morning yoga before the kids awoke and it was time to be Mama. Well, I figured I would just reallocate my time to the evening.

Except I’m not an evening meditator. I never have been. Ever.

I felt the drain this week. Yesterday, I felt the drain big time. Nothing was wrong, everyone was happy. Everyone was wonderful. Except I couldn’t shake this feeling of annoyance. Everything rubbed me the wrong way. The kids didn’t seem to notice…so I’m glad I hid it well! It culminated this morning with a feeling of fog that I couldn’t shake. I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t get out of my own head.

Then I said the words aloud to Hubby. I think I need to go back to my sunrise alarm. I need to go back to my yoga and meditation every day.

Go meditate now, was his reply, and then start fresh again in the morning.

I can’t. Once I go upstairs, it’ll be fly your helicopter and play baby and do puzzles.

But that’s why there’s two of us…I still couldn’t get out of my fog, so I retreated to my altar, lit some cedarwood inscense, and went right to work. Within twenty minutes, the fog was gone.

Hubby popped his head in after a bit to check in and also to share the ridiculous hilarity that is our children’s imagination. I again, without thinking and without filter, said aloud, I went on vacation from taking care of myself and that’s stupid.

He chuckled and affirmed- quite stupid.

Being full time mama fills up my cup in many many ways. But I have many facets and I was neglecting one of them. Night time I use for purposeful Magick or divination, but true grounding meditation is best met for me in the early hours.

Slightly unrelated, I found a photo challenge app and I’m enjoy it a lot. Here is my idea of silence (one challenge) as well as my idea of calm and serenity (a second challenge).

That’s the cedarwood surrounded by Frigg prayer beads and vibrational cleansing bell from Box of Shadows.

Tweaking the prayer beads

It has been just over two weeks since I have started using my prayer beads. I walk the dogs every morning, and when I return, I complete a round of prayers before lighting my candles and doing my morning yoga routine.

I am still reading from what I wrote for each of the prayer sessions, and I am close to memorizing some of the prayers, but I have found that when I commit something to memory, it becomes rote and, for me, begins to lose its meaning. As I write calls, and then set them to memory, after a few months, they become lack luster and I end up creating new calls. I seem to have more feeling when I have something written on a page before me.

Anyway, after the first two mornings, I decided not to call ancestors twice, as it feels redundant. Plus, one of the prayers includes an ancestral call. I’ve also decided that, for personal balance, I need to include Frigg’s role and beloved and favorite wife, not just mother. This is the part of her which I, especially, in the beginning, struggled to reconcile. She is seen as primarily the Beloved mother and in our society, it can be difficult to embody both the mother and the wife. Elvis is said to never have slept with Priscilla after Lisa Marie was born…

 

So, I have shuffled some things, removed some things, and added other things.

After the first morning, of beginning with the wooden bead and ending with the keys, I knew immediately that it was backwards. The second morning, I started with the keys and then moved forward towards the wooden bead. This way, I am starting with Frigg and ended with grounding. The difference between time and intensity of connection with the Divine between the first two mornings was incredible and the connection has been faster and deeper every morning since.

So, starting with the keys, I take multiple measured, cleansing breaths to the first Celtic knot, where I complete my own interpretation Sigrdrifumal– a culmination of a few translations.

Hail, Day!

Hail Sons of Day!

Hail Night and her Daughter!

Gaze on my gently standing here

Give me your blessings on my battles.

Hail Aesir, Asynjur, Vanir

Hail to the all-giving Earth

Give to me wisdom,

Admirable speech,

And healing hands, life-long.

Hail the local Wights and my Ancestors.

Hail the Gods and Goddesses of my Folk.

Bless me with strength, courage, health, and happiness

For all the days that I live.

I then take measured breaths to the first set of feathers, where I complete the first kenning.

Spinner of the Clouds,

Keeper of the Stars,

Singer of the Web,

Weaver of the Way,

Mother of the Light,

Bride of the Wind.

In company with others,

I see you.

On solitary pathways,

I seek you.

Keeper of the keys,

Your mysteries unfold

One spun ray at a time.

Measured breaths to the first spinning wheel where I complete the Mother’s Prayer.

Hail to Frigg,

Careful one, sharp-eyed one

Friend of mothers,

Protector of children

All-knowing, all watchful.

You know the love of parent for child.

You know it is unshakeable,

You know it is everlasting.

Frigg, you know the joy of watching a child

Grow into a fine man or woman.

You know the bittersweet pain of parting.

You know what is in the mother’s soul.

Frigg, grant me a steady hand

And a soft heart.

Grant me understanding,

Grant me clarity.

Grant me peace of mind in troubled times.

Grant me the strength to bend with the storm

And emerge unbroken.

Frigg,

Grant my children the wisdom to choose wisely,

Grant them the strength to stand firm against folly,

Grant them the will to face any challenge,

Grant them the wit to find their way in life.

Beloved Frigg,

Defender of families,

Keep my children safe from harm,

Ward them as they travel through the world.

Again, measured breaths to the second spinning wheel to the Wife’s prayer

Fairest Frigg, lady of the Sunset,

Friend of families,

Matron of marriage,

Bless me and him with whom I am handfast.

Grant us peace between our bonds.

Bless our love to last through the long years

And through all the woes the world may wish on us.

Grant each of us patience

That we may long for each other’s sights

Each time we return to the haven of home.

In times of anger and hurtful words,

Grant us wisdom to see through each others follies.

Help us always to trust,

To together enjoy the bounty at our table,

To talk together and walk together on rough and fair roads.

Frigg who keeps our knotted cord,

Show us the shared road though the thorns.

Measured breaths again to the second set of feathers and the second kenning

From you abundance, a roving

From your spindle, a thread,

From you loom, an understanding,

From your hands, a skill,

Within your arms, a keeping,

Within your wisdom, protection,

Within your fold, a family.

Measured breaths to the second Celtic knot where I do my ancestral blessing.

Hail to my Ancestors

Known and unknown.

Behind me you have laid the groundwork.

Before me lies the future.

Today I step forward

Carrying the love of a thousand lives

Walking in line with a thousand footsteps.

Finally, measured breaths to the wooden bead where I ground and come back. Since I have reversed the order, as soon as I touch the wood, I almost automatically come back to myself without a great deal of effort, just as starting with the keys gives me a strong connection with very little effort.

Wife’s prayer based on the Marriage Prayer. Mother’s prayer still from Hearth and Field. Kennings still from Frigga’s Dottir.

Meditation prayer beads

I made a thing!

Tonight I made meditative prayer beads to connect with Frigg.

I’ve got a wooden anchor bead at the top, followed by various shades of blue representing the different colors of the sky, Celtic knot beads, feathers, both for the feathers I’ve been gifted and the feathers Frigg wears in her hair and on her person, spinning wheels for the spinning she does of flax to linen, spinning of clouds, and spinning of fates. The bottom is anchored again, now with heavy keys to ground me back to reality and showing the her status with the keys for all the halls.

I plan to, starting at the wooden bead, breathe and open up at least my root and crown chakras. The wood will help me ground as I begin my meditations. Measured inhales and exhales through each bead until the first Celtic knot, then a call to my ancestors. Continued measured breathing through the next set of beads then Frigg’s kenning at the first feathers.

Spinner of the Clouds,
Keeper of the stars,
Singer of the Web
Weaver of the way,
Mother of the Light,
Bride of the Wind,
In company with others,
I see You,
On solitary pathways,
I seek You,
Keeper of the Keys,
Your mysteries unfold,
One spun ray at time,

Measured breathing to the first spinning wheel, where I will say

Hail to the Day! Hail to the sons of Day!
Hail to Night and her daughter!
Gaze on me gently standing here;
Give your blessings on my battles!
Hail to the Gods! Hail to the Goddesses!
Hail to the all-giving Earth!
Wisdom and lore grant me, so long as I live,
And healing hands.
Hail the the local wights and my ancestors
Hail the gods and goddesses of my folk, bless me with strength courage health and happiness for all the days that I live.

Four slow measured breaths until the next spinning wheel

Hail to Frigga,

Careful one, sharp-eyed one,
friend of mothers,

protector of children,
all-knowing, all-watchful.
You know the love of parent for child,
you know it is unshakeable,
you know it is everlasting.

Frigga, you know the joy of watching a child grow
into a fine man or woman,

you know the bittersweet pain of parting,

you know what is in a mother’s soul.

Frigga, grant me a steady hand and a soft heart,
grant me understanding,

grant me clarity,
grant me peace of mind in troubled times,
grant me the strength to bend with the storm
and emerge unbroken.

Frigga, goddess,
grant my children the wisdom to choose wisely,
grant them the strength to stand firm against folly,
grant them the will to face any challenge,
grant them the wit to find their way in life.
Beloved Frigga,

defender of families,
keep my children safe from harm,
ward them as they travel through the world

Measured breaths again to the second feathers, with a gratitude kenning,

From your abundance, a roving,
From your spindle, a thread,
From your loom, an understanding,
From your hands, a skill,
Within your arms, a keeping,
Within your wisdom, protection,
Within your fold, a family…

Finally, measured breaths to the final Celtic knot with a gratitude close to my ancestors. Measured breaths again down to the keys, where I will once again ground and quiet down my chakras.

Mother’s prayer from hearth and field, kenning from Frigga’s dottir.

“…so, I meditated…”

With parenting, most of what Hubby and I imbue on our children is a team effort. We share 99.99% of the same values and want our children to have them as well.

Typical parent stuff.

Be kind. Be respectful. Be patient. Be confident. Give effort. Have fun. Be silly. Embrace your smarts and use your powers for good.

The 00.01% where I differ from Hubby is with spirituality.

We are on the same page that we do not want our children brainwashed and indoctrinated into an organized religion. We are on the same page that we do not want our children exposed to Yahweh for as long as we can help it.

Hubby is on board for me raising our children as Pagan. They care for their environment. They have personal accountability. They believe in the old ways. They enjoy hearing stories of their ancestors. My kids also have been exposed to my yoga and meditation practice.

Yesterday, after school, Witchlette informed me that she was troubled by not being able to go to her preferred center during free play yesterday. She then went on and explained how, rather than get upset and frustrated, she sat down and meditated. “I didn’t get what I wanted and I was upset. But I didn’t want to cry, so I meditated.” Then, she went and read a book in the cozy corner.

I heart burst with love and pride from this little girl.

I must be doing something right.

Magical Roots Day 8: Meditation

#30daymagicalroots

Below is the “Rainbow Meditation” I do with Witchlette on a regular basis. Also below is a video form of the meditation using my chakra tapestry as a guide.

Relax into yourself

Open chakras one by one

Your root chakra flows red light downward Goes down into the earth

Rooting you to nature like a tree is rooted to soil

Your sacral chakra pulses orange

You feel your inspiration to dance, sing, paint, draw, play

You feel your desire to love

Your navel chakra glows yellow

It swirls with your inner strength

Feel your intuition, how you know what’s right without thinking

Your heart chakra radiates green

Love for all beings shines onto the world

Love from all comes to you and is reflected in the green light

Your throat chakra shimmers blue

Softly wavering as you unfold your stories and share your truths

Your third eye twinkles indigo

Holding all of the knowledge of the world

And allowing you to see the unseen

Your crown chakra beams purple

Reaching up to the white of the Divine

Connecting you with the Universe

Intertwining with all that is Magick

The Divine comes down with you

Down through all of you

Still connected with nature

Nature and the Divine

The Divine and nature

Come together within you

Temple visit

Today Witchlette and I visited the Buddhist temple in Raleigh. 

We walked around the book store within and spoke with the site manager. 

We went into the gompa, which was beautiful with brightly colored tapestry on every wall. The altar was also bright and colorful and very lovely. My chakras were on overdrive, so I sat on a pillow and meditated until they were balanced with the intense amount of energy present. It was a lovely energy, but still intense. Witchlette also sat to meditate for a bit and was very happy to be able to do so. 

Then, we went to the garden. 

Witchlette would like to make a set of prayer flags for her room to hang over her window. 

Buddha in the back garden

It was a lovely visit, but not some place Witchlette has said she would like to go regularly. I told her if she does, we will. For now, she just wants prayer flags to help her meditate in her own space.