What they want, a rambling reprise

Yesterday, Hubby and I found the perfect shelf to finish off my altar space. This leave a place for tools to remain easily accessible, versus in a drawer behind the space where I keep loose herbs and extra candles.

With Odin, Eir, and Heimdall moving to their new places, only Loki, Ullr, and Tyr remained. Tyr wanted to be close to the dogs, but didn’t specify where. The dogs are wherever we are, typically. But I needed Loki to stay with Tyr to keep him in check. Ullr wanted his own space too, but he wasn’t coming in clearly. Everything was muddled and fuddled.

Things were better since the beautiful ritual R shared at CotE that morning. Healing and cathertic. Big changes are coming with kindergarten and I feel like I’m making everything balance on my shoulders. My work schedule releases earlier. We have two awesome grandma’s ready and waiting in the wings. Hubby has said, in a deer-in-headlights what if we (read: I) can’t do it all, that he is prepared to make time with work stuff too and that we (read: we) can do it all. Saying this aloud in a safe space, my need to do everything and not lose myself [again], with the purpose of cleansing right along with the rest of my community, many of whom shared their own personal growth works and commitments they need to uphold, lifted a nervous knot in my stomach that planted itself last Monday. By giving the knot words, I took away it’s power over myself because now I have a focus- to not lose myself. (hold that thought)

But still, muddled and fuddled.

Looking at the altar, I realized I was tiptoeing around Loki. I had an idea and got some supplies together. As Hubby saw me carefully wrapping Loki in cotton and placing him in a box, he joked and said if only we had a snake to hang above him. I giggled, but it was brilliant. I drew a snake on the box and the crazy energy I’ve been feeling the last few weeks disappated.

There’s too much retrograde right now to invite chaos. I don’t hate chaos in fact, I usually function in controlled chaos. But right now, I needed to bind that shit, at least for the moment.

With Loki dealt with, I brought Tyr downstairs and set him up with Eir. They both like their new place.

I put Ullr down in the living room and, as Hubby and I spent time together, Ullr came in loud and clear: he wants to live in Witchling’s room. Hubby chuckled at the appropriateness of the move.

This morning, after he awoke, I went into Witchling’s room and placed Ullr there.

Now, there are two. And the lovely tapestry I created. And the awesome shelf Hubby found and hung.

(Resume thought from above)

I’ve been riding the struggle bus for the three weeks that I said I would awake early to go through my morning routine, work or no work. And I didn’t pick up an evening routine because watching TV and trolling the internet just felt more rewarding in the moment. Perhaps it was too cluttered. Likely also my focus was too pessimistic to be motivated. Struggle bus never made it to the station this morning and I rode the 5:35 motivation bus instead. I walked the dogs, did my morning prayers to Frigg, and then Witchlette bounded into the room just in time to start yoga. She got her yoga mat and we had a great session this morning.

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What they want, they get

Confession time:

Our front room, second living space, dubbed “the library” because that was my childhood goal…

Our front room is the last room with boxes, and much of the boxes are stuff that needs to make it’s way to the crafting space upstairs, which is also a chaotic moving clusterfuck.

I lost my patience for getting to the library eventually and cleared the space out myself Friday.

Ahh…much better!

Ok, background for the next part…

A few times, I have put some of my alter totems into a cabinet as things were being cleaned, or as certain rituals were being conducted and during which the presence of other deities would have been distracting both visually and spiritually. There was a point when Tyr, Odin, Loki, and Heimdall were in the cabinet for two weeks. They were not happy. Odin was pissed. When I did the Full 13 moon, everyone but Frigg was cabinetted. Frigg has never been cabinetted.

Last week, two more pieces have arrived, in the form of Ullr and Eir.

(Some people collect mugs, I collect gods 🤷😊)

The altar is getting crowded. I have shelves which will [eventually] be hung and some of the totems will move there.

During meditation yesterday, Odin made it clear he does not want to be in my bedroom. He wants to live in the library.

Heimdall wants to be on the front table, by the door.

Eir wants to be able to see the kitchen. Respectfully, she doesn’t want to be in the kitchen, likely because that is already space dedicated to Frigg, but she wants to be close.

Tyr wants to be close to the dogs, and it feels weird moving him away from Loki. Like, he keeps Loki in check. Loki doesn’t want to be on my altar, but also hasn’t specified a space where he will land. I like him sandwiched between Thor and Tyr where he is presently.

Hubby has been on board with everything else so far, why not to having Gods move in around the house. He took to them having new homes around the house really well.

Frigg’s dag dreizehn ritual

Last night, after bed time and walking the dogs, and after having completed my nightly upkeep chores during afternoon playtime, I was able to dedicate a nice chunk of time to Frigg and the Asynjur.
Last December, I compiled pieces of prayers from Northern Paganism and Odin’s Gift and put together a Full Moon ritual for R and I to share, honoring Frigg and our growing connection to her.
This evening, I recreated the moon ritual to honor Frigg and the Asynjur on this Friday the 13th (Frigg’s dag dreizehn).
I rearranged my altar. The five candle set-up I designated for two fires on the left and two ices on the right.

Fire. Heat from the south. (Light outermost left)
Ice. Cold from the north. (Light outermost right)
Fire. Heat from the south. (Light inner left)
Ice. Cold from the north. (Light inner right)
Fire melts the ice. The water mixes with the heat to make steam. The ice cools the steam to make mist. The mist fills the gap between fire and ice, where there was nothing. Mist of the world from where all life springs. (Light center)
I am shrouded now in the mist, no longer in this world yet not wholly in the otherworld. We walk the space between, in the mist, blessed by fire and ice.

(Light solo candle)
Hail, Frigg, wife of Odin, queen of the Aesir and Allfather’s one true equal.
Hail, Beloved, keeper of women, wives, and mothers.
Hail Allmother, watcher of all children, Aesir, Vanir, and human, looking after each as if they were her own.
Hail silent one, all knowing Weaver of Fates, yet bearing the knowledge alone.
You, who keep the keys for all the halls in Asgard.
You, Weaver of the clouds drifting from the Eastern sky.
I invite you here, now, Beloved Frigg Allmother hail and welcome.
Frigg, Beloved, Asgard’s Queen surrounded by twelve great goddesses to make thirteen.
(Light each tea light with each line)
Saga, ancient story-teller supreme
Eir, physician, healing maid
Gefion, giver, a land did make
Fulla, plenty all around
Sjofn, affection does abound
Lofn, permission granted thus
Sin, defender, warding us
Hlin, protectress, warrior friend
Var, hearing oaths until the end
Vor, does know all that we seek
Snotra, wise of what to speak
Gna, swift messenger of Frigg
Goddesses, much do you give.
Hail to you all, may you ever be strong,
May your days be joyful and your nights full of song.
May you grant us and ours love, peace and health,
Wisdom, kindness, good-luck and good wealth.
May it be that you are with us
Through our days and our nights,
To grant us comfort and strength
Through the dark and the light.
Hail to you Goddesses for your blessings this day,
Hail to you Goddesses for the blessings on their way.
Lady of Asgard,
You who hears the secrets of the All-Father,
You who holds his heart in your hands,
In you we seek what we need,
And you provide, greatly,
Let us remember your gifts,
And honor you with well wrought work,
From our hands and our hearts,
May we aid each other in times of need,
Through you, Frigg we can learn much,
And in you are mysteries that we seek to understand,
Wind us in your distaff, dole us fair and just fate,
Through you, Frigg we ask, that this life,
Be full of love, light, and needed strength,
Great Mother, accept my offering,
Not of blood, but of efforts and devotion,
My love and desire to honor you
(Pour wine into offering bowl)
Hail Frigga!

(Quiet meditation, then extinguish the tea lights)
Thank you, Asynjur, for all you bring.
Frigg Allmother, beloved by those who adore you.
Your tame spirit is the counter to the wild of Odin, keeping him balanced and ever returning to the homestead.
Keeper of the hearth and home.
Keeper of married lovers and loving parents.
Thank you for blessing your dottir this night.
May I dutifully complete joyful woman’s work in your honor.
Skal
(Extinguish Frigg candle)
As the mist condenses, we see the land from flesh, the mountains from bone, the rivers from blood, and the stones from teeth. As the mist recedes, we are harkened back to the garden in the middle of Yggdrasil. When the mist evaporates, we are once again fully in our world and no longer between worlds.
(Extinguish center candle)
The fire returns to Muspelheim (Extinguish inner left candle)
The ice returns to Niflheim (Extinguish inner right candle)
The fire returns to Muspelheim (Extinguish outer left candle)
The ice returns to Niflheim (Extinguish outer right candle)

What day is today?

Good morning!

Today is a super special day!

Why is this day special?

There are more layers to this story, however.

First of all, it’s Frigg’s day. Frigg has twelve handmaidens, goddesses with whom she works very closely: Fulla, Sjöfn, Snotra, Lofn, Gefjon, Vár,Hlín, Sága, Eir, Syn, Vör and Gná.

Twelve goddesses plus Frigg herself equals thirteen Asynjur.

The next bit is more scandalous, not only because of the use of the <gasp> F bomb, but also because of ghe crossover between Frigg and Freya. As I’ve written before, Frigg and Freya are likely the same goddess who has different interpretations from different tribes. Or, different facets of the same goddess, one became more focused on motherhood and home while the other focused on sexuality and adult relationships. Like the Elvis complex.

Happy Friday the 13th. May Frigg and the Asynjur bless you and yours always. And may you enjoy all facets of this special day.

Blessed Frigg’s Day

Thank you for walking with me on this journey of wife and mother this day and every day.

Tweaking the prayer beads

It has been just over two weeks since I have started using my prayer beads. I walk the dogs every morning, and when I return, I complete a round of prayers before lighting my candles and doing my morning yoga routine.

I am still reading from what I wrote for each of the prayer sessions, and I am close to memorizing some of the prayers, but I have found that when I commit something to memory, it becomes rote and, for me, begins to lose its meaning. As I write calls, and then set them to memory, after a few months, they become lack luster and I end up creating new calls. I seem to have more feeling when I have something written on a page before me.

Anyway, after the first two mornings, I decided not to call ancestors twice, as it feels redundant. Plus, one of the prayers includes an ancestral call. I’ve also decided that, for personal balance, I need to include Frigg’s role and beloved and favorite wife, not just mother. This is the part of her which I, especially, in the beginning, struggled to reconcile. She is seen as primarily the Beloved mother and in our society, it can be difficult to embody both the mother and the wife. Elvis is said to never have slept with Priscilla after Lisa Marie was born…

 

So, I have shuffled some things, removed some things, and added other things.

After the first morning, of beginning with the wooden bead and ending with the keys, I knew immediately that it was backwards. The second morning, I started with the keys and then moved forward towards the wooden bead. This way, I am starting with Frigg and ended with grounding. The difference between time and intensity of connection with the Divine between the first two mornings was incredible and the connection has been faster and deeper every morning since.

So, starting with the keys, I take multiple measured, cleansing breaths to the first Celtic knot, where I complete my own interpretation Sigrdrifumal– a culmination of a few translations.

Hail, Day!

Hail Sons of Day!

Hail Night and her Daughter!

Gaze on my gently standing here

Give me your blessings on my battles.

Hail Aesir, Asynjur, Vanir

Hail to the all-giving Earth

Give to me wisdom,

Admirable speech,

And healing hands, life-long.

Hail the local Wights and my Ancestors.

Hail the Gods and Goddesses of my Folk.

Bless me with strength, courage, health, and happiness

For all the days that I live.

I then take measured breaths to the first set of feathers, where I complete the first kenning.

Spinner of the Clouds,

Keeper of the Stars,

Singer of the Web,

Weaver of the Way,

Mother of the Light,

Bride of the Wind.

In company with others,

I see you.

On solitary pathways,

I seek you.

Keeper of the keys,

Your mysteries unfold

One spun ray at a time.

Measured breaths to the first spinning wheel where I complete the Mother’s Prayer.

Hail to Frigg,

Careful one, sharp-eyed one

Friend of mothers,

Protector of children

All-knowing, all watchful.

You know the love of parent for child.

You know it is unshakeable,

You know it is everlasting.

Frigg, you know the joy of watching a child

Grow into a fine man or woman.

You know the bittersweet pain of parting.

You know what is in the mother’s soul.

Frigg, grant me a steady hand

And a soft heart.

Grant me understanding,

Grant me clarity.

Grant me peace of mind in troubled times.

Grant me the strength to bend with the storm

And emerge unbroken.

Frigg,

Grant my children the wisdom to choose wisely,

Grant them the strength to stand firm against folly,

Grant them the will to face any challenge,

Grant them the wit to find their way in life.

Beloved Frigg,

Defender of families,

Keep my children safe from harm,

Ward them as they travel through the world.

Again, measured breaths to the second spinning wheel to the Wife’s prayer

Fairest Frigg, lady of the Sunset,

Friend of families,

Matron of marriage,

Bless me and him with whom I am handfast.

Grant us peace between our bonds.

Bless our love to last through the long years

And through all the woes the world may wish on us.

Grant each of us patience

That we may long for each other’s sights

Each time we return to the haven of home.

In times of anger and hurtful words,

Grant us wisdom to see through each others follies.

Help us always to trust,

To together enjoy the bounty at our table,

To talk together and walk together on rough and fair roads.

Frigg who keeps our knotted cord,

Show us the shared road though the thorns.

Measured breaths again to the second set of feathers and the second kenning

From you abundance, a roving

From your spindle, a thread,

From you loom, an understanding,

From your hands, a skill,

Within your arms, a keeping,

Within your wisdom, protection,

Within your fold, a family.

Measured breaths to the second Celtic knot where I do my ancestral blessing.

Hail to my Ancestors

Known and unknown.

Behind me you have laid the groundwork.

Before me lies the future.

Today I step forward

Carrying the love of a thousand lives

Walking in line with a thousand footsteps.

Finally, measured breaths to the wooden bead where I ground and come back. Since I have reversed the order, as soon as I touch the wood, I almost automatically come back to myself without a great deal of effort, just as starting with the keys gives me a strong connection with very little effort.

Wife’s prayer based on the Marriage Prayer. Mother’s prayer still from Hearth and Field. Kennings still from Frigga’s Dottir.

Meditation prayer beads

I made a thing!

Tonight I made meditative prayer beads to connect with Frigg.

I’ve got a wooden anchor bead at the top, followed by various shades of blue representing the different colors of the sky, Celtic knot beads, feathers, both for the feathers I’ve been gifted and the feathers Frigg wears in her hair and on her person, spinning wheels for the spinning she does of flax to linen, spinning of clouds, and spinning of fates. The bottom is anchored again, now with heavy keys to ground me back to reality and showing the her status with the keys for all the halls.

I plan to, starting at the wooden bead, breathe and open up at least my root and crown chakras. The wood will help me ground as I begin my meditations. Measured inhales and exhales through each bead until the first Celtic knot, then a call to my ancestors. Continued measured breathing through the next set of beads then Frigg’s kenning at the first feathers.

Spinner of the Clouds,
Keeper of the stars,
Singer of the Web
Weaver of the way,
Mother of the Light,
Bride of the Wind,
In company with others,
I see You,
On solitary pathways,
I seek You,
Keeper of the Keys,
Your mysteries unfold,
One spun ray at time,

Measured breathing to the first spinning wheel, where I will say

Hail to the Day! Hail to the sons of Day!

Hail to Night and her daughter!

Gaze on me gently standing here;

Give your blessings on my battles!

Hail to the Gods! Hail to the Goddesses!

Hail to the all-giving Earth!

Wisdom and lore grant me, so long as I live,

And healing hands.

Hail the the local wights and my ancestors

Hail the gods and goddesses of my folk, bless me with strength courage health and happiness for all the days that I live.

Four slow measured breaths until the next spinning wheel

Hail to Frigga,

Careful one, sharp-eyed one,
friend of mothers,

protector of children,
all-knowing, all-watchful.
You know the love of parent for child,
you know it is unshakeable,
you know it is everlasting.

Frigga, you know the joy of watching a child grow
into a fine man or woman,

you know the bittersweet pain of parting,

you know what is in a mother’s soul.

Frigga, grant me a steady hand and a soft heart,
grant me understanding,

grant me clarity,
grant me peace of mind in troubled times,
grant me the strength to bend with the storm
and emerge unbroken.

Frigga, goddess,
grant my children the wisdom to choose wisely,
grant them the strength to stand firm against folly,
grant them the will to face any challenge,
grant them the wit to find their way in life.
Beloved Frigga,

defender of families,
keep my children safe from harm,
ward them as they travel through the world

Measured breaths again to the second feathers, with a gratitude kenning,

From your abundance, a roving,
From your spindle, a thread,
From your loom, an understanding,
From your hands, a skill,
Within your arms, a keeping,
Within your wisdom, protection,
Within your fold, a family…

Finally, measured breaths to the final Celtic knot with a gratitude close to my ancestors. Measured breaths again down to the keys, where I will once again ground and quiet down my chakras.

Mother’s prayer from hearth and field, kenning from Frigga’s dottir.