I am woman

Freya and I don’t get along…at least certain aspects of Freya and I don’t get along. 
When I think of Freya, I think of all the energies she is that I am not. She is the counter to the energies of Frigg. She is seen by so many as the goddess of love and beauty and Frigg is completely overlooked. When I did my 30 Days of Frigg is when started to take issue with Freya, because so much information was about Freya and not about Frigg. 

But really, there isn’t that much information on Freya either. At least not when compared to Thor, Loki, Odin…

Historically, Frigg and Freya are both derived from Frija, proto-Germanic goddess. It would seem those following the Aesir interpreted her as Frigg and those following the Vanir interpreted her as Freya. When the clans came together, the two goddesses overlapped again, as they were once one entity. 

What drove me nuts and, frankly, pissed me off, was the idea that Freya was sexy and Frigg is not. Because Frigg is a mom and mom’s aren’t sexy. 

Nope. 

Frigg’s a MOLF. 

Freya uses sex to get what she wants.

Frigg doesn’t use sex, she enjoys it. 

So while I am much more aligned with Frigg, and while I still don’t want to embrace Freya as love/fertility/beauty, I am drawn to her as a warrior. 

That is one aspect Frigg and Freya don’t share. Frigg is strong, but in a different way. She stands up to Allfather when needed. She does all within her power to change the fate of Balder, even though she knew what would ultimately unfold for him. 

I have a temper, and I like to keep my temper in check. This is perhaps another issue I have with Freya. She is War. I cannot channel her for fear of losing my shit and going beserk. 

I feel more comfortable being a wife and mother than being a warrior. 

Most days. 

Bedtime Blues

Witchlette psyches herself out. 

She has dreams, including day dreams, which scare her. 

The latest is the highly frightening skull and crossbones which appears in the Simpsons movie. 

Hubby and I explained it’s not evil, it’s ridiculous. It’s to show the lake is now poison. It’s made from pig poop. 

When those didn’t work, I changed tactic. We can’t reason with her, then we have to get her feeling safe. 

I sprayed her sleep spray on her bed. She sat on my lap. I told her to put her hands over her bed and we called on Sunna for sunlight, Mani for moonlight, Balder god of light, Skadi protective goddess (and potentially Witchlette’s person) all to protect her and keep her safe from any bad dreams and for Frigg to hold her in her arms all night through. 

So mote it be I said. 

So mote it be she said. 

There was a physical change in relaxation within her and she easily climbed into bed. She was exhausted after her long full day. We did a rainbow meditation to seal the deal and she is now sound asleep. No muss, no fuss, no tears. 

Some parents use the deities for fear and control. I use them for comfort and solace. Seems to make more sense…

Joyful woman’s work

I read an intriguing piece a few days ago: Frigg has fallen out of favor in the modern era and Freya has taken her place. It’s all related to the duty of a woman and woman’s work. 

Through modern eyes, Frigg embodies the dutiful 1950s housewife who cares for her husband and children, makes sure all of the moving parts of the home are in place to allow all of the people of the home to function. While many modern households have partners who share the load of the physical housework, the mental housework- the coordination of all of the physical housework- still typically falls to the wife. The husband helps with the cleaning but the wife makes the schedule. The husband helps with the kids after the wife coordinates all activities. 

Freya, on the other hand, through modern eyes, is seen as the independent woman-like no need for a man, caring for herself with no interdependence. She is sexually liberated and does not have to answer to anyone about with whom she takes to her bed. 

Yet, neither does Frigg. Frigg has affairs, including those with Odin’s brothers. When Loki attempts to insult her by bringing up her infidelity, it is noted that in this time and space it is quite commonplace for both husbands and wives to take lovers. 

Frigg actually embodies what the woman’s movement pushed for- having it all. A loving family, a smoothly run household, and a life independent of the nuclear family. 

In today’s monogomous Western society, husbands and wives are less likely to take lovers. Of it does happen, it is even more likely done in secret and against the wishes of the other partner. 

In today’s constant on-the-go society, Freya may be enticing for some. She comes and goes as she pleases without regard for the time frame of anyone else unless she is currently in their company. But, from my experience, she is the one missing out. 

Frigg has it all, through joyful woman’s work. 

TOIFD

The vending machine pitfall

I have been trying, though I can’t honest say with all my might, to avoid the vending machine pitfall. 

To ask and ask and ask of the gods and give nothing in return. 

To not honor Gebo. 

To get a gift, you must give a gift. 

Time and dedication to the gods each morning is one form of Gebo. 

Even the term vending machine gods is a misnomer. Something is given to the vending machine. Money is exchanged for goods. But to perform rites and rituals to ask and not perform rites and rituals simply to honor, to not give Libations during said rituals…one has to put in time and effort to establish a relationship with people, animals, and deities. 

The last three days, I have planned on waking early enough to do yoga, and perform and ritual for Frigg before Witchling arose and needed to be taken to the potty. The last three days, Witchling has arisen before my alarm and needed to get to potty before I had a chance to say anything. This morning was particularly rough on him. After waking at 5 with a full and uncomfortable bladder, I put him on the potty and then set him back to bed. About 10 minutes later, he was up again as his paci was under his pillow. Another 15 minutes and his noise machine had timed off. 30 minutes later, it’s now 5:50, the noise machine has timed off again. With both of us exhausted, I scooped him up and brought him to bed with me. Witchling snuggled in and was snoring before my head was on the pillow. Hubby’s alarm went off at 6:00 and he went about his morning. I silently dedicated the duties of the day, this time with my Littles, to Frigg. About 6:20 Witchlette came in and rested with us before bringing her toothbrush and toothpaste downstairs to get Hubby’s help. 

Witchling arose on his own, refreshed and ready to take on the world at 7:00. Without that extra hour of rest for him, this day wouldn’t have been smooth. Through this dedication of the day, I was able to put forth some Gebo. I got crown chakra tingles then and I’m getting them now as I write this. 

Give and ye shall receive. 

Frigg’s Day

Confirmation bias

Keeping this blog has been a blessing in so many ways. It has allowed an outlet for some really dark days and a place to share some really light and happy moments. It’s also been an electronic journal that lets me document and relive my own personal history. I am open, honest, and truthful here because the main point of writing is for myself- to learn and grow and continue flourishing.

There is one piece on this blog, however, that isn’t honest and truthful because I was lying to myself at the point of writing it. And I have been lying to myself for the past few months. I allowed myself to verbalize the truth to some special people Magickal things started happening all around me.

But lets take a step back and review some history.

In August 2013, someone spoke to me in a night while I was struggling with nursing Witchlette. She was but a month and a half old and we had a tough night. A female voice, whom I later attributed to Frigg, came to me that night and calmed both Witchlette and I and I had successful nursing situations with Witchlette for the remainder of her nursing sessions as well as successful nursing sessions more often than not with Witchling.

Two years later, as I am ebbing and flowing through all sorts of emotions and life transitions, with everything waning and just going through the motions, I was given a gift in the form of a feather which, with basic research and meditation, I attributed to a being from Frigg.

The following February, at a private Full Moon rite, S wrote a very powerful moon ritual which invoked Brigid, gave me a powerful message, “She has another name. Find her other name, and left me that night and all the next day with my crown chakra tingling. 

The same feeling, looking back, I had when I affirmed Frigg had come to me that night with Witchlette. 

The same feeling, looking back, I had when I found the feather. 

Everything came back to Frigg. Everything. 

So that tingling feeling I had that night. The message of Brigid having another name. I affirmed at that moment it wasn’t Frigg because that would be too obvious. That would be my insticts creating what I want to believe, not what truly is there. That would be Confirmation Bias: I believe only which reinforces what I already believe. 

I fought against it so hard. I read and researched and found my “answer“. Brigid and Sif both are related to the Rowan tree. That was enough for me to state. 

And I’ve been struggling to connect ever since. With anything and anyone. 

Because I was given this awesome gift and I fought against it, lying to everyone including myself. 

One Friday in April, after discussing my frustration of only being on this Nordic journey for a few years and already being out of Asynjur material, I was given the name of a few books, including Norse Goddess Magic: Trancework, Mythology, and Ritual by Alice Karlsdottir.  It is a testament to the lack of resources of Northern goddesses and a way to connect with them personally through individual meditative work. 

Pages 72 and 73 include relations between Brigid and Frigg. Brigid has many commonalities with Holda, who is openly considered to be another facet of Frigg. Of many of Brigid’s oversights, childbirth and prophecy are included. She, like Frigg, is a goddess of the homestead. Imbolc, Brigid’s feast day in early February, corresponds with a time also sacred to Frigg/Holda. The woman of the house would welcome Goa (the second month, returning light) in only her shift and would host a feast for all women on the farm. If women danced at this feast, their flax would thrive. The flax was spun into thread to later be woven. Holda/Frigg first bore flax to the people, teaching them how to sow, reap, and spin. Spinning is one of the tasks which is prohibited in traditional Brigid-centric Imbolc celebrations.  

That’s a whole lot more than a coincidental tree. 

I made this statement aloud Monday night. As soon as I made the statement aloud, my crown chakra tingled. Tuesday, on my way home with my kids, I passed a falcon that seemed to watch us as we drove by, whose underfeathers match the feather I found in my car gifted from Frigg. And my crown chakra was on fire. 

The night with Witchlette at 1 1/2 months old. 

The feather. 

The moon. 

I have been drafted and I am on Team Frigg. Full and wholly Team Frigg.