Confirmation bias

Keeping this blog has been a blessing in so many ways. It has allowed an outlet for some really dark days and a place to share some really light and happy moments. It’s also been an electronic journal that lets me document and relive my own personal history. I am open, honest, and truthful here because the main point of writing is for myself- to learn and grow and continue flourishing.

There is one piece on this blog, however, that isn’t honest and truthful because I was lying to myself at the point of writing it. And I have been lying to myself for the past few months. I allowed myself to verbalize the truth to some special people Magickal things started happening all around me.

But lets take a step back and review some history.

In August 2013, someone spoke to me in a night while I was struggling with nursing Witchlette. She was but a month and a half old and we had a tough night. A female voice, whom I later attributed to Frigg, came to me that night and calmed both Witchlette and I and I had successful nursing situations with Witchlette for the remainder of her nursing sessions as well as successful nursing sessions more often than not with Witchling.

Two years later, as I am ebbing and flowing through all sorts of emotions and life transitions, with everything waning and just going through the motions, I was given a gift in the form of a feather which, with basic research and meditation, I attributed to a being from Frigg.

The following February, at a private Full Moon rite, S wrote a very powerful moon ritual which invoked Brigid, gave me a powerful message, “She has another name. Find her other name, and left me that night and all the next day with my crown chakra tingling. 

The same feeling, looking back, I had when I affirmed Frigg had come to me that night with Witchlette. 

The same feeling, looking back, I had when I found the feather. 

Everything came back to Frigg. Everything. 

So that tingling feeling I had that night. The message of Brigid having another name. I affirmed at that moment it wasn’t Frigg because that would be too obvious. That would be my insticts creating what I want to believe, not what truly is there. That would be Confirmation Bias: I believe only which reinforces what I already believe. 

I fought against it so hard. I read and researched and found my “answer“. Brigid and Sif both are related to the Rowan tree. That was enough for me to state. 

And I’ve been struggling to connect ever since. With anything and anyone. 

Because I was given this awesome gift and I fought against it, lying to everyone including myself. 

One Friday in April, after discussing my frustration of only being on this Nordic journey for a few years and already being out of Asynjur material, I was given the name of a few books, including Norse Goddess Magic: Trancework, Mythology, and Ritual by Alice Karlsdottir.  It is a testament to the lack of resources of Northern goddesses and a way to connect with them personally through individual meditative work. 

Pages 72 and 73 include relations between Brigid and Frigg. Brigid has many commonalities with Holda, who is openly considered to be another facet of Frigg. Of many of Brigid’s oversights, childbirth and prophecy are included. She, like Frigg, is a goddess of the homestead. Imbolc, Brigid’s feast day in early February, corresponds with a time also sacred to Frigg/Holda. The woman of the house would welcome Goa (the second month, returning light) in only her shift and would host a feast for all women on the farm. If women danced at this feast, their flax would thrive. The flax was spun into thread to later be woven. Holda/Frigg first bore flax to the people, teaching them how to sow, reap, and spin. Spinning is one of the tasks which is prohibited in traditional Brigid-centric Imbolc celebrations.  

That’s a whole lot more than a coincidental tree. 

I made this statement aloud Monday night. As soon as I made the statement aloud, my crown chakra tingled. Tuesday, on my way home with my kids, I passed a falcon that seemed to watch us as we drove by, whose underfeathers match the feather I found in my car gifted from Frigg. And my crown chakra was on fire. 

The night with Witchlette at 1 1/2 months old. 

The feather. 

The moon. 

I have been drafted and I am on Team Frigg. Full and wholly Team Frigg. 

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30DOD: X-XIII Deities/Important Figures (yes, I’m cheating)

I felt I had to put a hold on my 30 Days of Druidry stream because I was at a bit of a loss with the next few posts.

I am focusing on Thor because I wear his symbol, encrusted with my daughter’s birthstone, around my neck and because I mention his presence each thunder storm.

X- deities: gender
XI- deities: symbols
XII- deities: history
XIII- deities: why them?

Well…I don’t really have deities. So that put me at a loss. I do have some figures whom I revere. But what am I supposed say? The whole post would be two of three sentences each. So I’m cheating and combining them. Ok, so the “why” post would be a paragraph or two but why not just lump them all together.

So…

Thor is traditionally a male. He has cross dressed in the past. Marvel currently has him as her. A recent internet has been the unfortunate misinterpretation of a 2011 study of Viking remains: half of remains which gender determination was originally done base on artifacts (swords vs broaches) found with the remains were misidentified. Half of the remains which were originally found to be male were reevaluated using actual forensic anthropology and were found to be female. Females with swords = warriors! Marvel was right!!! No…Viking settlers not warriors.

So Thor is a male.

His symbol is his hammer, Mjolnir. Pictured below is the Mjolnir I wear, referenced above.

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Mjolnir is his weapon of choice and is worn to show alliance between his followers. It was done at a time when being a follower of Thor was a killable offense. It is a subdue symbol, most folks don’t know what it is unless they know what it is. I’ve mentioned before how I don’t advertise my path at work. But I will openly wear my Mjolnir because most folks don’t get it.

So Mjolnir.

Thor’s history is a great one, but also a well documented one. He is the oldest son of Odin, leader God of the Norse pantheon. He is champion of the people and was worshipped openly from prehistoric times-around the 7th centures with a modern revival beginning with the adoption of Asatru as a recognized religion in Iceland in 1973; Norway and Denmark followed suit.

But now, why Thor?

Well…why not?

First, I have a very hot temper. It’s one of my faults, perhaps my most severe flaw.

Second, I love thunderstorms and lightning has always fascinated me. The last few month, every time I hear the rumble of an impending storm, I say, “The thunderer is among us.”

There was quite some time when I was first learning about the real Norse pantheon that I was actually hesitant of Thor. There were more than one resources I found which mentioned him to be someone to be cautious of and to keep one’s distance from because of his hot temper. I took these messages to heart and I set my distance. But something about him always drew my curiosity back. About this time last year, I was doing some reading and I came across an interesting comparison. It was taking the lyrics to “What If God Was One of Us” by Tori Amos and giving is a polytheistic spin. If the gods were currently walking among us, who would be whom?

Aphrodite would be the beautiful girl at the bar, accepting drinks from all the men swooning around her, having the time of her life every night. She would let whichever man she deems worthiest that night take her home home to his bed every night and be gone before the sun was up.

Isis was the ever-present mother, always there for her child whether it was a home cooked meal, a front row seat at the soccer game, or first in line to meet the teachers at back to school night. She would also be the devoted wife, and yet somehow never manage to leave the house looking less than perfect. June Cleaver of the gods.

Thor would be a pick-up driving, trucker hat-wearing, good ol’ boy of the South. He would always be ready to lend a hand to his friends and neighbors. A few too many drinks in him and he would be down for a bar fight, but he never actually meant any harm. Unless someone crosses his nearest and dearest, because all good ol’ boys know how to shoot to kill.

It was likely that thought which changed my mind. I don’t think it would be too far off from who he actually is. Even though time devoted to him is definitely not enough to call a worship and my mind still can’t accept that thunderstorms actually mean Thor is in the clouds battling Jotuns for me to believe he is a real deity, Thor is the most important figure to my path.

 

…Maybe that would have made an OK amount for four separate posts, but it’s done so too late. 🙂

30DOD: IV- Background: Deities

When I first discovered the 30 Days meme, I saw it was to research, write, and discover about a deity in your practice. When I really thought about it, however, I acknowledged the fact that I do not have deities within my practice.

I view deities the same way I view Santa Claus. Yes, Santa is real. He exists in the kindness of humanity.

So, despite not worshipping any deities, the following figures are noteworthy in my practice.

Danu- she is mother of all the Irish, the Tuatha-De-Danann. While my heritage is a huge mish-mash (I am the epitome of the melting pot) I claim Irish as my main heritage. My daughter has specifically chosen first and middle names of Celtic origin.
She is also renowned for nursing Godlets. I sought a lot of strength from her in the early stages of breastfeeding my daughter.

Demeter and Persephone- mother and daughter goddesses of Greek origin. Persephone spends half of the year with the living and half of the year in the underworld. It is Persephone’s transitions which allows Demeter, the earth goddess of fertility of plant and animal life, to change the seasons. When Persephone rejoins her mother, the trees begin to bud and flowers begin to bloom. The more time they spend together, the more alive and ravishing the earth becomes. When it is time for Persephone to depart, the flowers begin to die and the leaves change and fall off the trees. The longer she is away, the more dead and desolate the earth becomes as Demeter mourns her daughter. This myth of a mother’s love is a beautiful way to explain the natural phenomenon of the seasons.

Mostly, I look to the Norse pantheon for myths of everyday life. Why does it thunder and lightning? Thor is battling Jotuns again!

While I don’t worship anything in the traditional sense, I do revere the Earth. I care for the planet to the best of my ability and I encourage others to do the same. Despite not outright worshipping her, Mother Nature is the closest to a patron goddess I have.

The Moon would come in close second, as she rules the tides- the water of life and the life waters of all creatures. With the Moon would come the Sun- the heat and light which make life on our little blue marble possible.