Life imitating art imitating life

20 years ago, a tiny mid-season replacement called Buffy the Vampire Slayer premiered.

I was in middle school. It was in the same weekly lineup as Charmed (hasn’t aged as well but still mostly relevant) and Dawson’s Creek (which has aged horribly). It was billed by the network as a show for the same demographic: teen girls.

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The show was ahead of its time; it was immediately classic and still has a ginormous cult following. It ended with 7 filmed seasons but continues its cannon with graphic novel of 3 “seasons” with another on the way.

The show is one that was not only ahead of its time, but was ahead of my time. When it was on the air originally, I loved it and I was glued to the idiot box every week then had long discussions with my middle school friends dissecting what we had just seen. What folks were wearing, who was super cute, how unbelievably hot Spike is.

Buffy was my first exposure to Magick- real Magick, watched at a time when I was the leader of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes at my high school. It was my first introduction to loss other than an older relative. It was my first look at love and lust and how they are so easily intertwined. It was my first…everything…


When my sister passed away in 2005, I watched The Body (aired in 2001) over and over again with gut wrenching sobs and just allowed myself to feel the hopeless sad and emptiness that followed. As I dealt with the emotional fallout of her death in the following months, I watched Once More With Feeling (aired in 2001), as Buffy just needed to feel. Life was not turning out the way it was supposed to, and I felt hollow, empty, nothing. More than a decade later, as I was reeling with postpartum issues, I turned to The Gift (aired in 2001).

The hardest part to do in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live.

I use many tracks from Buffy episodes, but mostly Sacrifice, for meditation and yoga purposes.

I’ll never forget the first time I was told Buffy wasn’t for me. I was a freshman in college and I had all of my seasons on DVD with me, and watched them regularly and religiously. Talked with folks who I thought were friends at the time, about our shared love of the show. Was told by them that I’m not what Buffy represents at it’s core.

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It was my for others: for needs and rejects and social outcasts. It was for folks on the fringe and I’m too mainstream.

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Except, I’m not.

I’m exactly who Buffy was made for. I’m the key core demographic.

I’m human. Therefore Buffy was made for me. And you. And anyone who has emotions and lives life.

But don’t take my word for it. Anthony Head (Giles) can tell you all about it.


A battle cry for all of us in these tower times



In the US, today is Thanksgiving: the day where we stop all of the hussle and bussle of daily life and sit in contemplation of all that we have- both materialistically and not. We take in the family that surrounds us, the food that fills us, and the stuff that entertains us. And we share how thankful we are for everything/everyone we take for granted the other 364 days of the year.


It’s a day shared in elementary schools as the first time imperialistic English folks sat down with the Natives of what is now America and broke bread to give thanks for new friends and neighbors for a good harvest and a good start to the cold season.

Everyone learns as adults, however, that it wasn’t all lollipops and roses.


What we have to keep in mind today, and this goes for Leif Erikson, Christopher Columbus, and any other explorers of the historical world: we cannot place our current mindset and social values on a people who did not think as we do. Who saw the world through imperialism not through equality and live and let live.

We have to remember them, just as Spike does in BtVS season 4 episode “Pangs”:


Please don’t misunderstand: I am not saying that we should ignore what happened. We should be teaching honest lessons about what happened, we should be learning from the past to better the future. But we can’t change the past. We are here as we are today because of the past and there’s no denying that. We need to focus on where we’re going holding into lessons from where we’ve been.

P.S. Starting tomorrow, can we be done with the pumpkin overkill obsession? Thanks.

30DOD II Background: Cosmology

This post is the hardest one I have had to write in a while…I know it should be easy, because I am writing about myself.

Cosmology is, literally, the study of the origins of the Universe.

This cosmology is a metaphor, of course, for the origins of my personal Universe.

I’ve already discussed how I began the journey on my path. I’ve also discussed how I ventured into the world of druidy.

Truth is, to quote Buffy: I’m cookie dough. I’m not done baking. I’m not finished becoming who ever the hell it is I’m gonna turn out to be. I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next thing, and maybe one day, I turn around and realize I’m ready. I’m cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat m- or enjoy warm, delicious, cookie me, then that’s fine. That’ll be then. When I’m done.

Life is a journey, not a destination. I am constantly evolving and my cosmology is growing.

It not only includes the conscious switch after my sister’s death, but also my growth from maiden to mother and all of the bumps in the road in between. When I’m done baking, many years from now, I will fill in my cosmology.

For now… I’ve been getting a lot of my information about the background of druidry from The Order of Bards, Ovates, and Druids.

Willow and Magick

Not too long ago, there was a post on Facebook from The Domestic Pagan asking followers how they tackled the everyday. Did they go straight to Magick, or did they avoid Magickal usage in the mundane?

Many followers commented that they do things the “muggle” way before bringing in Magick, if they involve Magick at all. My response was that I tend to use Magick at the get-go, in addition to non-Magick efforts.

I’m currently going through Buffy season 6. The season begins with Willow tapping into very primal, powerful Magicks to bring Buffy back from the dead. Then Willow begins to become addicted to Magick and is using it for every mundane task. The gang finds out Xander and Anya are engaged and host a small party (with just the seven of them) at the Summers house. There was no notice of the engagement, and thusly no time to be decorations, so Willow conjures up some. Tara freaks out and Giles freaks out but Willow blows them off. Later that night, Willow is looking for Dawn in a crowd and wants to send “everyone who’s not a 15-year-old girl into an alternate dimension…for only a fraction of a second.” Again, Tara freaks out and storms off. We never see if Willow performs the spell on her own.

This got me to thinking about my original response. I use Magick not only in ritual but also to work through big problems. But when I am looking for a topic for grad school, I don’t use Magick to conjure up one. I have Goddess given gifts, including the gift of language to assist my in most any task I take on. When I clean my house (the “big” spring and fall cleaning), I make a ritual out of it, so there’s some Magick there. But it’s a ritual in my house, just like an Esbat or Sabbat ritual. But typically I save it for the big stuff. Flying, job interview, sickness… So, I am changing my answer…kind of. For the most part, I muggle my way through.