Pagan parenting

All posts in the Pagan parenting category

Mama superpowers

Published December 17, 2016 by Lunapo

As I was going through old drafts, I found one that I wrote about a year ago. Somehow it got saved as a draft and never published, so I am publishing it now.

Mama superpowers are real!

I experienced them last night.

I had just finished changing Witchling into his pjs and was walking over to my nursing chair. The light was off, though both kids have nightlights for us just as much as them. Then it happened…I tripped over his heater and fell to the floor. Witchling in my arms, down we went.

Somehow, some way…I was able to twist myself so that I landed quite hard on my side and Witchling stayed in my arms and off the floor. Somehow, some way…on our way down, I was headed to fall and land on top of him. But I didn’t, I raised him up and I went down and this changed my own trajectory and left him completely unscathed and none the wiser. Not a peep from him.

I nursed him and we continued through our bedtime routine.

I’m sure I’ll be bruised in the morning, but that doesn’t matter.

Mama is a super hero!

The most perfect day

Published July 2, 2016 by Lunapo

Yesterday included a moment that was just the most perfect day. 

The two little witches were up and playing, we had the TV off but internet radio on. Philadelphia Freedom started playing and I grabbed Witchling and started dancing. Witchlette was not too happy about that. At first, she seemed to have an “oh my goddess mom you’re so embarrassing” expression. Then she joined, but stopped almost as soon as she started. She wanted to dance, but she wanted to dance to “the Groot song”- Hooked on a Feeling with the ooga shakka. 

We had microphones, a plastic microphone and a baby toy with a ball on a stick, to sing into. We sang the refrain together while I did the verses and Witchlette did the ooga shakka ‘s. We sang together and danced together until we were all in hiccups. It was one of those moments straight out of a movie. It was the most perfect moment, with everyone having fun with nothing more than just each other. 

Bonus:Witchlette showed her awesome pre-reading skills by pushing the one with the that starts with H. 

What not to pass along

Published June 29, 2016 by Lunapo

Towards the end of the school year, lots of panic issues and lots of crunching happens as things that need to be done now have a very limited finite time to do them. Things can’t go out of compliance over the summer and folks get super stressed about having all areas in order befor leaving for their well earned 11 week reprieve. 

While the teachers under me were going through their panics, I remained calm and encouraged them not to worry. Everything would get done and any minor errors could and would be fixed at the beginning of the next school year. Don’t stress over it, because in the grand scheme of everything, it’s all meaningless. When something came across my plate, especially something where I had made a minor error and had the finite time to fix it before leave, stress insued. Not 5 minutes before, I had stated that nothing was worth stressing over and here I waspreaching but not practicing.  

Today is Witchlette’s 3rd birthday. We were going to be meeting Hubby at the birthday surprise at 4:45. Well, with two littles sleeping still at 3:30 and one who has to nurse, 4:45 quickly turned into 5:15 by accounts of my GPS. No big deal. Not too late. 

I had used my phone too much during the day and failed to charge it before leaving the house. About half way there, my 15% battery warning came on. And as I approached the exit ramp to get off the highway, the phone died. I had no idea where I was going and no way of contacting Hubby to ask for help. We got off the highway and I turned right. Shortly, I found a Vitamin Shoppewho graciously let ,e use the stores phone and I called Hubby to get directions. It was now 5:20 and he had been waiting since 4:45. Turns out I should have gone left at the exit ramp instead of right. Plus rush hour Raleigh traffic. 

As I reloaded myself and the kiddos back into the car, I was fuming mad- at myself. I was beating myself up merceliessly for this mistake- for the phone going out on me. For not bringing a plug. I was going to, but the cord end isn’t a typical USB so I had no way of connecting it to the car, so I didn’t bring it. And I failed epically. And I was ruining my daughter’s birthday. All because the phone died: I didn’t know where I was going, I was late, I didn’t think to write down the directions before we left. All of this in my head accounts to, “Stupid! stupid! Stupid!”

My only real mistake of the day: letting Witchlette see that. I have been actively working with her to make sure she understands what a big deal is and is not. Yesterday, after playing at a local gymnastics facility, Witchlette realized that she didn’t know where her socks were. Oh, the meltdown that ensued. We were one of two families there, and it would be easy to do a sweep and find them. And if we didn’t find them, they’re just socks. No big deal. 

But to her, it was catastrophic. 

Perhaps I have let my guard down. Too own and gotten mad at myself too much in front of her. Perhaps she has been me berate myself one too many times. 

One tag I did do that was good was I stopped , breathed, and said, “silly mommy. This is no big deal. We are on the way to the birthday surprise and it’s going to be great. Breathe. We’re headed the right way and will be there soon.”

And we were. And it was great. 

I need to practice what I preach with her to not pass this along any further. This is one part of me that I don’t wish on her.

Best offense is a good defense

Published June 27, 2016 by Lunapo

Dear Food Allergy Parents,

I get it.

I’ve never been one to poo-poo what you have to deal with day in and day out. I have calmly told Witchlette that she would be having pb&j sandwiches as often as she wants at home, but it’s not something we can take to the museum. Just in case.

I get it. I’ve always empathized with you.

But this is different. No, I mean I truly get it now.

I no longer merely empathize with you, I now live along side you.

Saturday was our first birthday party since knowing Witchling has food allergies. Non-life-threatening as far as we can tell. He gets hives on contact and will be ill for some time after depending on how much of the food he has eaten. He’s never had more than a bit. And he never will. (His sister will see it it as much as I will!)

Saturday was interesting. Our hostess had a really pretty spread of fruit, with strawberries at the top. We went through before others use the spoon on all fruits and took out blueberries and pineapple for Witchling. He was then done with fruit because of cross-contamination. Witchlette’s birthday party is in a few days and we will also have a fruit salad made by my mom. She already knows to either exclude the three allergens or make Witchling his own small bowl of fruit before adding the allergens to the whole salad.

It’s these little precautions we now have to take with our food. With what we eat in the house, what we eat at restaurants, what is served at parties. Just because it’s not life-threatening doesn’t mean it’s not important. It’s uncomfortable for Witchling. And avoiding discomfort (hives and vomit) is worth the minor inconvenience. 

The first chat

Published June 7, 2016 by Lunapo

Last time it happened was before Witchling was conceived, and while Witchlette saw it, because I’ve had an audience since her arrival, she was not quite 18 months old the last time she was exposed to the concept and, rightfully so, had no memory of it.

Mama…what’s that?

Her look of disgust and concern rolled into one.

It’s blood. It’s not a boo-boo, I’m not hurt. This happens to grown ladies. My body is telling me there isn’t a baby growing inside.

The next day she caught it again.

What’s that now?

It’s the same blood. It happens for a few days. But it still doesn’t hurt and it still just means that I don’t have a baby growing.

A few minutes later, after she went potty, she assured me there was no blood in hers, because she isn’t a grown lady, but there’s also no baby growing because she wants to play with her brother.

She then asked me about my Lunapads. I explained that they go on my undies to catch the blood so it doesn’t ruin my clothes. And that they go in the laundry just like diapers. I showed her my two patterns, teal with stars and black with bicycles, and the pattern for the set I ordered, red with foxes.

Menstruation is not something taboo to be embarrassed about. And she now knows this from a young age. It’s a natural process. She also is growing up with the concept of not using disposable products. Diapers and pads. Because children become what they see and what they are exposed to. And she would like yellow when she’s a grown lady.

The sleep machine

Published May 22, 2016 by Lunapo

We brought the sleep machine home Wednesday night. And like everything else I encounter, I expected immediate results.

It was was too bright, impossibly bright for a midnight toy. Witchling winced when it was turned on and was unable to look at it taking away the killing visuals. The sounds didn’t do anything without the visuals.

Hubby took the machine apart yesterday and applied some dark blue paint to the lightbulbs. This would dim them enough that Witchling should be able to see the visuals and not be blinded.

image

Last night Witchling lulled himself to sleep. He showed full control of the button, playing with it on and off until he laid down, with it left on, and drifted to sleep.

This morning he woke about 6:30 and turned it on, talking to the creatures for about 15 minutes before signaling to us.

Plus…

Witchling has been up 3-4 times a night to nurse. He’s stuffy? He’s teething? He’s hungry? He’s lonely?

Yesterday we learned/confirmed Witchling is allergic to strawberry. Last time he ate strawberries was the last Sunday in April and he was quite ill all day. We attributed the illness to a bug. He had three whole berries. Yesterday at breakfast he had two slices of strawberry from my plate. He got them on his mat and rubbed his arms in them as he ate. When I went to wioe him down after eating, I saw hives on his arms. In the bathroom after a good cleaning and a new diaper, and was starting to get bumpy on his face- he had been rubbing his face with strawberry hands. Called the doctor and he vomited all of breakfast while I was giving them the scenario. Doctor called back and suggested Benadryl as long as there are no breathing issues. There were none, so Benadryl it was and the hives went down. In addition to calming his skin, the congestion that is everyday ailing him subsided. And he slept through the night, waking only once (2 am) to eat.

So, he’s stuffy. Number one on my why is he waking up list. And he’s too stuffy to put himself to sleep. He’s too tired and uncomfortable with all of his stuffiness. So he seeks comfort from Mama. Remove the stuffy- I can work with that. 

The night I gave up?

Published May 18, 2016 by Lunapo

When j was pregnant with Witchlette, I swore I would never do a crib soother. Lights and music and distraction. Not for my kid!

I held firm on this with Witchlette, she has books in her bed. We started with plush books when she was a little over a year. She would read to herself to fall asleep and entertain herself by reading in the early morning. She was never an up in the middle of the night baby and with rare exceptions- not including the random 3am potty run- still isn’t.

With Witchling…I had to do something.

Witchling has been up 3-4 times a night to nurse. He’s stuffy? He’s teething? He’s hungry? He’s lonely?

I’m at a crossroads.

On one path, I only have a baby for 12 months. He’s 8 months old today. I want to snuggle and cuddle and hold and comfort at every moment. I want to love on him constantly. Compounding this is the working mom issues of all the time and cuddles I have not had with him for the past 6 months. All the bottles he’s had a daycare rather than going straight to the source.

On the other path, I’m exhausted. I need to sleep so I can function at work. So that I have more patience for both Witchlette and Witchling. So that I have something left to share with Hubby.

When Witchling is up 2+ times a night for many nights in a row, I stop looking forward to and enjoying the late night cuddles. I fight off feelings of resentment. And then the demons start creeping in: what kind of a piece of shit mother resents her baby?

So we bought a crib soother. It looks like a fish tank and either has water sounds or music and has lights with water effects or not. It also has a remote. I think I’m going to make Hubby in charge of the remote…

Witchling is able to turn it on and off, as seen tonight when I let him have a few minutes with it before I rocked him to sleep.

It’s almost 10pm now. If the pattern of the last few nights holds true, he’ll be up around midnight, 2, and 4. If he can just use the soother and work himself back to sleep for the middle wakeup, that alone will make a huge difference.

And hopefully with a few more hours, the demons will slink back away again.

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