Completeness?

Published June 19, 2015 by Lunapo

Have you ever seen the baby type shows on TLC? Baby Story, Birthday…there were at least five in rotation when we still had cable. I, along with many of my friends, was obsessed with these shows through college. But something that was often mentioned in them never sat right with me.

Cut to the families who had at least two kids and we’re going for their “one more”. Cameras followed them to see their “life” before the new baby, was with them the whole step of the way in the hospital, and popped in again back home. After the baby came, they were interviewed to see how their lives had changed. Again and again, no matter how many kids they had, the last kid “finally made their family complete”.

For how long? Did you ever feel “complete” after 1, 2, 3… How many is enough? How many is too many?

Our family felt complete upon the birth of Witchlette. Not because we thought she would be our only. But because we had so much love to give and so much wholeness in each of us and together as one unit. We never felt like anything was missing and that we had to have another baby in order to fill that hole.

Yes, we’ve got 2.0 on the way. No, he isn’t filling an emptiness that only a baby can fill. No, he isn’t “completing” our family in the sense that having Witchlette wasn’t enough. He will bring more giggles and laughter and fun into our home. He will also bring more frustration, as with more kids comes less time, less money, and more discipline.

From the start, Witchlette was wanted and loved. As soon as I got a positive for 2.0, he was so wanted. I loved him immensely before I left the bathroom.

I’m not saying it’s going to be tough, because life with Witchlette has been anything but. I’m also not saying it’s going to be easy, because we are embarking on the complete unknown. Two kids under three. An infant and a toddler. But many parents have successfully completed this journey before us, and many will do so after us. What I’m saying is that while 2.0 has been wanted and loved as soon as he was a teeny spot, he wasn’t needed. Wanted, but not needed. Witchlette was needed. Witchlette completed our family. She made us whole. 2.0 is the splurge gift you get yourself that you know you don’t need, but are so excited to bring home and play with.

But there needs to be a balance. You can’t just buy splurge gifts until the cows come home.

Hubby and I are drawing the line at 2. He says two parents, two kids, no mutiny. I say two hands, two kids- given there will not always be two parents around.

So, I guess I maybe do understand what those families meant when they said their families were “complete” with the final addition.

Our family was whole when F entered the world. When 2.0 arrives, it will be complete.

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