Bug Demon: You creatures throwing your names all over all the time. That’s why you’re so weak. Too many are knowing your names. Takes your power away.
Angel Season 4, episode 20, “Sacrifice”
On Saturday, during Garden Day at Church of the Earth, I was asked if I prefer H or Lunapo. I said H is fine. Lunapo (for those who don’t know) is a conglomerate of Luna (moon) and Lupo (wolf)) is the pen name I use on my blog. He then mentioned that while it is a personal choice to stay quiet about one’s beliefs, every person who is being out and proud and open and loud helps all other Pagans dispell the misconseptions that the general populous has about us.
This conversation got me to thinking: While I am 100% fully out in real life, I am still “closeted” (sort-of?) online.
Re-read the first sentence of that paragraph. Notice I said “H” and not my full name? Yet, it’s not that I’m closeted. Not really anyway.
When I started this blog, I still semi-closeted. The majority of my family and a few friends didn’t know. But I started posting more and more on Facebook with less and less ambiguity. Then we were expecting Witchlette and I wanted to do an Elemental Blessing that welcomed her to the family. I never actually said to anyone, “Hey. I’m Pagan!” but they pretty much knew what to expect. Since it was a slow and indirect process, any possible confrontation was avoided. So now all of my family knew. I still have some friends who, again with the Facebook postings but never with an actual conversation. Hubby had a conversation with one of these friends once and she mentioned how much she loves reading my blog. Just the other day she texted me a response to one of my posts. Again, the awkwardness (not so much confrontation with her) was non-existant. I think it boils down to me not giving people enough credit. Which is a me problem not a them problem.
It was also about my job. As a public school teacher, I am a government employee. For a long while I was concerned about my superiors “finding” a reason to terminate my position because of my beliefs. I had read about this happening many times before. (A similar situation just happened to Seba over at Southern Fried Witch.) Despite all this, I publicize my blog on my personal Facebook page via my personal Twitter feed. My Facebook page is set to private so unless you are my friend, there is nothing you can see on my page. Unless, of course, you are a computing engineer genius in which case there is no stopping you. If someone is going to go through all of the trouble to link my work persona with my spiritual aspect, then I must have really done something to piss somebody off. But, I have let go most of my fear of losing my job and just doing what is right.
So…why don’t I put any of my full self out there on this blog?
Because it’s not just me and my privacy. It’s also my family’s life. It’s not my place to share my personal information, and therefore link Hubby and Witchlette to me. Using my real information has the potential to affect so many more lives than just mine.