I committed to writing 30 posts about Druidry at the end of June.
It is now the beginning of October.
I’m only on number 14.
While I committed to writing the posts, I never committed to writing them on consecutive days.
While writing the post about the deities/important figures, I started to think more of myself as a theist. I spend a lot of time thinking about the deities of the Norse pantheon. I have for quite some time now, but I always ignored whatever message I was being sent.
Then PPD happened and I went there. I opened that door wide. I have since started to make my way through.
I guess I always knew I would end up here sooner or later, but there are too many [silly] reasons why I pushed back. To hell with those [silly] reasons.
So, while I think writing about Druidry was important because it helped me to get there, I don’t think it is where I was supposed to be. Maybe it is where I’ll end up later, but not right now.
For now, I will be leaving 30DOD unfinished. Maybe one day, but not right now.
As I have written before, I am not abandoning things en masse I have been taking into my practice for some time now. I am just evolving. Life is nothing if not change.
And so I am righting my course in the direction which I was turned towards for so long, but which I fought tooth and nail to get away from. I am now embracing that current and enjoying the ride.
I have felt the pull from a deity for quite some time now, which has evolved my stance on them. For the longest time, I thought there weren’t any. There is an ultimate energy in the whole of the Universe, and the deities are just aspects of that energy. In a large scale, that is still true. Hell, all of us are just aspects of the energy of the Universe. Deities, like us, are separate entities. And one of them was trying to reach out to me, but I wasn’t willing to answer.
Since I have started studying this deity (baby steps, I want to know all that I can before I start working with him) things have clicked and have just felt right. There is not much that remains in the lore about him. From what little information we have, we know he was at one point of high importance but began to lose popularity along the way. Just to say and think his name feels right.
The Heathen teacher that I met at PPD, who helped me kickstart this leg of my journey, shared that the best way to begin a path of Heathenry is through the Runes. They are the key to open the door down this path.
Three (or more) Yules ago, I was given a Rune study book. You know how books, or anything else for that matter, that sit for a long while without being touched develop that filmy layer of dust? Never happened to this book despite the fact that I wasn’t ready for it then. I’m ready for it now, and it waited patiently for me.
I have studied two Runes so far, Fehu and Urus, working with one Rune per week. My studies will bring me to early March. Unlike 30 days, I have committed myself to daily study and work. I read the chapter from my book. I meditate holding the Rune, inscribe the Rune on each palm with my finger, writing out phonetic paragraphs with Runes instead of letters, adding a new symbol each week. During random moments of the day, I stop and recite each Rune and it’s translative meaning. Fehu- wealth, cattle. Urus- potential energy, fortunate catalyst.
I have felt a really strong pull at my crown chakra during Rune meditation while holding it in my palm and while inscribing the Rune into my palm with my finger. This is just right.
Something within me changed. Since that day, something feels smoother. To go back to my boat metaphor- I am able to unfurl my sails and travel wherever the wind and the current takes me and just enjoy the journey since I am no longer intimidated by the potential destination.