Identity Crisis Update

“Be the change you wish to see.” One of the best quotes ever. Put the work into it, and change will come. But only of you really want it. I won’t be able to wear my pentacle to work, nor should I talk openly about Magicks with staff. But what’s stopping me from meditating at my desk during my (seldom, short) breaks? Me.

I’ve been really good about meditating every morning, with my yoga routine, in front of my alter. Every evening I’ve been meditating from bed. Because I’m exhausted and don’t have the energy to sit in front of my alter only to get up again. But I’m still actively meditating.

Also, the NHL lockout has left this hockey fan jonesing. That definitely hasn’t helped the situation.

Nothing has happened with the lockout, and nothing will for as far as the eye can see. Damn.

I also have a disease which makes me part of a “community”. This aspect of life has taken over a lot my time, energy and attention. I refuse to add it to the definition of myself, because it’s not who I am. A part of me, yes, but the lessons learned from it, not the disease itself. But by refusing to add it to the list, I’m not complete.

It’s getting better. Day by day, it’s getting better. The disease will always be a part of who I am, and I’m embracing it. Because it’s made me stronger, and more sensitive (to others who have issues) at the same time.

There are a few pieces I also left off, because I don’t know how they fit in. Science nerd, for one. I love learning about science and if I could do it all again, I would’ve majored in a science rather than education. (Although my best friend is a chemist and struggled for years with getting a job so maybe I did it right).

Science nerd: I enjoy reading about science-y stuff on my own time. It’s a hobby, and not being a profession makes it more enjoyable!!!

No, my fracture feels healed. I think the twice daily meditations, the fact that we stopped eating out so often and I’m back in the kitchen, have both helped. A lot.


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