Origin Story

I keep mentioning to the turning point in my life. Five years ago.
November 4, 2005.

Let me start before that…

(Let me preface this next part with I grew up in a small Catholic town and then a big Protestant/Jewish town.)

I was raised with Catholic mentality in the house. I went to CCD until my Confirmation in 8th grade. It’s what my mom said I would do and so I did. I didn’t know any other religions (besides Judaism and Catholicism) until I was older. In middle school, I learned about Protestantism. Then I learned about Asian religions like Buddhism and Hinduism. It wasn’t until I was in high school that I learned about Islam. It wasn’t until very recently that I realized how long Islam
has been around. And when I say, “I learned about them”, I mean I learned about there existence.

I knew of religions of native peoples from history classes. I had seen Wicca in movies like The Craft, but I never considered it a religion per se.

As I have said in previous posts, I questioned to the point of religious indifference.April 30, 2002 my little sister was born.
November 5, 2005 she died.I went into a personal tail spin.I reached out to Pastors from churches I used to attend and never heard back. I tries to discuss things with my family and and friends but it came back to “She’s in heaven.” It was so final.It wasn’t good enough for me.

I picked up a book: The Idiot’s Guide to Paganism. I read it again and again and things started to make sense. I slowly started to change my thinking and my personal philosophy. I realized Death is a part of life. Every fall, the natural world dies only to bring renewed Life each spring. It happens again and again without ending. Life cannot continue with out Death.

It hurt to lose her. Still hurts now but in a very different way: to know what I’m not experiencing as a big sister. To know all that she missed out on with growing up. To see friends who have significantly younger siblings get to have what I lost.

But at the same time, it’s better knowing there is  a purpose to Death.
To this day, I still can’t explain why focusing myself on Earth-based spirituality healed me. I still can’t pinpoint the exact trigger that lead me to my place of peace. All I know is that I found it.I came out of my tailspin just before crashing into a firey wreck. I
leveled off.And once again I am beginning to soar.

Leave your mark

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s