Follow-up questions

The student who asked the Witch questions of me in December asked a follow-up question out of the blue this morning.

We were taking notes for new vocabulary words before we started our bingo review game. Others were still writing and he was finished.

“Is a ritual bad?”

“What do you mean?”

“Is a ritual bad?”

I could tell he didn’t have the words to explain himself any further and I was able to read between the lines. This kid has been doing some kind of research and is not coming with deeper questions. But without a pause or hesitation, I answered his question with one of my own:

“If you pray for someone to fall down the stairs and break their leg, is that a bad prayer?”

“Yes”

“It’s the same with rituals. The intent behind it is what matters.”

Later, after while students were finishing another set of notes, he asked about Halloween.

“Do pumpkins summon the devil?”

I at first wasn’t sure I heard him right and asked him to explain himself.

The class then go a mini cultural lesson about how pre-Christian ancient Celtic cultures would carve lanterns to help guide the spirits of their beloved dead, their ancestors, back home. I explained that this is a custom that is still done with the same meaning in some parts or Ireland and in the US by some people and is similar to a very wide-spread celebration in Mexico. When Christians came, oeooke were told they were inviting in demons, not ancestral spirits, and so the lanterns started to look like scary faces to chase the demons away.

The conversation continued to another student wishing humans could just be anything and why does everyone and everything have to be Christian. I responded that I’m not Christian and that’s ok. Everyone quickly agreed.

The student who started the question then asked me, quietly, “Are you Pagan?” to which I honestly answered affirmatively.

Despite all of the side bars we had today…we also talked about why humans have hair in their nose…we finished all of our vocabulary notes, played two games of vocabulary bingo, and diagrammed a sentence.

He has apparently been doing some kind of research on his own to use the words he did today. And I have zero concern professionally because my principal, Ms. T, is amazing and referred to me as a “hard worker” in an unrelated conversation today. It feels beyond good to know that I work in a place where I can be open, not advertising but still open, and have zero concerns for reprocussions.

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My year and a day

Last week was my year and a day with Frigg.

With packing to move and being sick, I didn’t write about it on time. What matters, though, is that I did work with Frigg that day.

I threw some Runes and learned my next steps with her. In my divination, it now comes down to my breaking through my impressions of what is and is not to begin working with her on a more intimate level. I need to let go of notions I have, and what notions I have come from my  upbringing with Christian world-view: warrior/war/battle, femininity, and success.

I’ve spent the last year and a day learning all I could of her, which, given that she was a Goddess of a pre-Christian time, isn’t a lot. Much of her has been lost to the sands of time. I did, however, make a firm and historically appropriate connection between her and Holda, which has filled in many blanks and has left me with a much more complete picture.

And, no, the irony is not lost on me that the life altering event which brought me to my Path is something with which Frigg/Holda is affiliated.

There was one last piece which I was not able to put together until just this past weekend. Frigg’s hall. She has her own hall, as does each of the Aesir. Her hall is said to be on the marshlands, but when I look at marshes, I don’t find her…I don’t feel her.

There’s an alternate translation!

If we look at Aesir Gods as a whole as sky deities, and Frigg as not only a sky deity but also a solar one, we have a sun goddess as included in Bellows’s translation of the Eddas.

Image result for sun with wispy clouds

Fensalir is Frigg’s hall and is usually translated to mean wetland hall. According to Mallet and Scott, the “fen” element, however, could also represent the sea. Taking all this into account, we now find a new location for her hall. If Fensalir means Sea Halls rather than Fen Halls, and Frigg is a sun goddess, then Fensalir would be not only a place but also a time.

Image result for sun setting on the ocean horizon germany

It would be the moment when the sun touches the horizon at the sea during the sunrise and sunset.

The moment I thought this, it felt right. I carried with it the rest of the day and every day since that it feels right. As I write this, it feels glorious.

I remember years ago, at the high school where I worked across town…the building had so many windows and there was sun shining in from every angle. I would stop and bathe in the glow of the sun and just feel good. Feel connected. I felt like I was being touched by the divine. Hubby, for years, has been joking that when he calls a Sun Worshiper, I actually am…that it goes beyond sunbathing.

Years ago. The golden threads of the Norns have brought me to where I am now.

Skal!

 

Lastisms

Witchling is my last baby. And he’s not even a baby anymore 😭

This morning, I was having a bout of the lastisms. I have “baby fever” every so often, when I miss the teeny tiny snuggles that having a baby completely reliant of you entailed.

But I don’t miss anything else that comes with having a baby. At. All.

When Witchling bounds over to me and asks me in his super sweet big boy voice to scoop me up and snuggle him, my heart just melts.

This morning, we’re sitting at breakfast at our local donut and biscuit shop, when I start sharing with Hubby some of my lastisms. I’m between misting and crying, and Hubby jokes that I should hold onto these until Witchling is 12…or 30. Witchling then jumps up and declares potty, so Hubby takes him.

As if on cue, his lullaby, Everlong (Foo Fighters) begins playing on the radio in the shop. Witchling and Hubby emerge between the first and second verses and before the first refrain. Witchling realizes what song is playing, gives me the biggest hug, and sits with me, singing along to the rest of the song.

These moments. These are what matter.

Blessed Imbolc and Charming of the Plow

Signs of spring have started to pop up around our yard. We have three bulbs that have begun to sprout in our front yard. Two are bulbs Witchlette and I planted at Imbolc last year, the third is one of the remaining daffodil bulbs around our oak tree.

This evening, at dinner, we conducted our first Charming of the Plow ritual.

I had an offering bowl at the table with a bulb and some seeds to bless, which will be planted in our new yard.

We blessed our meal, and I shared the following

Today, what many people call Imbolc, our Germanic ancestors Kew at Charming of the Plow.

Tonight, we honor Odin Allfather, cheif among the gods. We honor Freyr, who rides his golden boar across the sky for longer and longer time. Skal and cheers to Skadi and Ullr, whose time of rule is almost through. They will soon retreat back to Skadi’s mountainous winter fortress. For Thor, whose rains are to come and for Sif, whose grains are to grow. Tonight, we give special acknowledgement to Gefjon, who took four oxen, her son’s, yoked them to a plow, and carved a plot of land just for her kin. To Frigg Allmother, with an honor of milk, as the kids and calves are being born, milk is flowing, and wool.os being harvested and spun. Above all, this night, we honor Jord, Earth Mother. May you have fields growing and flourishing,
propagating and strengthening,
tall shafts, bright crops,
and red tomato crops,
and soft sage crops,
and all earth’s crops.
May Nerthus grant you
that your produce be guarded against any enemies,
and that it be kept safe from harm,
from poisons sown around the land.
Now I bid the Mother, who shaped this world,
that none shall overturn the words thus spoken.

Final words taken from The Pagan Grove.

Hail to Gefjon

Hail to Jord

Hail, Skal, and Blessed Be

Snow progression

It snowed quite a bit in the south east last week.

Taking into account school being closed for the MLK holiday Monday, I worked at school one day last week: Tuesday.

The snow started around 8:30 in Raleigh. It continued to snow through the day until 6:30-7:00.

Thursday and Friday were also snow days, as it was still pretty much everywhere until late into the afternoon Friday.

Wednesday, a snowman amidst the falling snow.

Thursday, just as cold but clear, and we added a carrot.

Friday, clear and shrinking from melt

Saturday, almost gone

Sunday, only a scarf remains

The proof is in the sleep

For two nights in a row, I set up a sleep recipe in my diffuser across from our bed: equal parts lavender and cedarwood oils. Hubby and I, the first night, quickly and easily settled into sleep dispite not feeling “totally” ready. I would dare to say it was my best nights sleep since 2011-2012, when I started the infertility journey which then led to the parenting journey. No matter how much you love your kiddos, it’s a fact that you lose sleep as you are needed at all times of night for years.

So, we fell asleep with the diffuser on, with enough liquid for 45 minutes, Thursday night and we woke Friday so refreshed. I repeated Friday night. We again woke super refreshed Saturday morning. Each night I made a new batch and set it to run.

Last night, however, we went to bed later and I didn’t stop to make more for the diffuser. The two of us tossed and turned struggled to fall asleep, even though we were actually tired.

This afternoon, I made a jar of it, so I can shake and pour into the diffuser without having to make more each night before bed. This amount should keep us flush in peaceful sleepy smells for at least a week.

For anyone new to oils, it’s 10 drops of oil to 100 ml of water. The jar measures 300 ml of water. I want equal parts lavendar and cedarwood, so that would be 15 drops each, balancing the 10 : 100.

I also ordered rollers and plan to make my own roller blends in the coming months.

And, since we are on the final push of packing and moving, it may truly be months before I get to making the rollers.